You capture the exhausting, oh-so-predictable game of "moderation" perfectly, Shane. I’ve seen the myth of "everything in moderation" do a whole lot of harm. Thank you for pointing towards the door of true freedom.
Loved this so much. And I also laughed a bunch of times as I can identify with so many things, especially weekend drinking starting earlier & earlier in the week. 4 years alcohol free!! Moderation did not work for me. It’s exhausting.
Thanks Holly. Yay for 4 years AF! I just hit 4 years AF on September 1st. Glad to be doing this with you, and NOT doing that exhausting moderation with you ☺️
“here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase the list as Infinitum”
I believe moderation serves us in most areas of our life, but not with alcohol, or any substance to which your body is/was addicted. I find this is the best area for all or nothing thinking. I have been sober by choice since 1996. Although I was never physically addicted to alcohol, I abused it, and was addicted to other substances and behaviors. For me, I let go of alcohol when I pursued practicing yoga more seriously. I was never tempted by moderation, because alcohol didn't fit into this new lifestyle I was cultivating for myself, one that made me feel good instead of crappy. We all have our reasons for quitting. I never regretted mine.
So true how moderation serves us in so many other areas but not with alcohol. Thanks for the feedback and congrats on the sober lifestyle you've embraced since '96! Such a great choice
Thanks for writing this, Shane! For me, when I had to negotiate, alcohol had already won. For most of my life, I tried to control my drinking, but my version of moderation did not equal a moderate amount for most of those years!
Thank you for sharing. I been sober for 8 years now and I am always thinking about drinking especially on my birthday just on my birthday I have a case of beer saved. I only will drink a couple of beers and see how it goes. Should I do it or not?
Hi Timothy, Thank you for being here - huge recognition on 8 years!
Personally, if I were in your shoes, one thing I would do is play the tape forwards: How do you imagine you’ll feel the day after? What about the day after that? How did it predictably play out in the past?
We don’t offer personal advice or support services in this newsletter... Do you have a sponsor or sober friend you could call or text? Or perhaps a meeting you could attend? There are lots of free online meetings here: https://www.intherooms.com/livemeetings/list
Thanks for the question, Timothy. Alcohol is such a baffling poison because not only do we use it to numb out, we use it to celebrate. My personal feeling here is that you, your 8 years of sobriety, and each trip you take around the sun deserve to be celebrated in healthy ways that honor you, your worth, and the work you've done to get this far. No matter what you choose, I hope you know your value ✨
If you are an alcoholic, (have an abnormal relationship with alcohol, like me- it will be nine years in November) one is too much and 1000 not enough. My suggestion is to reflect on what that drink means in reality. Not fantasy. Reflect on the reality of what sobriety has afforded you in these 8 years. We all have these fantasy thoughts… they are just that, fantasy. 🥰
You capture the exhausting, oh-so-predictable game of "moderation" perfectly, Shane. I’ve seen the myth of "everything in moderation" do a whole lot of harm. Thank you for pointing towards the door of true freedom.
Thank you for the kind words, Dana and for putting my article out there 🙏🏼
Loved this so much. And I also laughed a bunch of times as I can identify with so many things, especially weekend drinking starting earlier & earlier in the week. 4 years alcohol free!! Moderation did not work for me. It’s exhausting.
Thanks Holly. Yay for 4 years AF! I just hit 4 years AF on September 1st. Glad to be doing this with you, and NOT doing that exhausting moderation with you ☺️
I shared it and received lots of replies about how helpful it is. You are an excellent writer too. I've been sober 37 years thanks to AA.
Thank you, Paul and congrats on 37 years! Wow!
“here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase the list as Infinitum”
More about Alcoholism from the Big Book
An exhausting yass 😭 to all of those!
Thanks for sharing that, Dee
Tried em all 🙄
I believe moderation serves us in most areas of our life, but not with alcohol, or any substance to which your body is/was addicted. I find this is the best area for all or nothing thinking. I have been sober by choice since 1996. Although I was never physically addicted to alcohol, I abused it, and was addicted to other substances and behaviors. For me, I let go of alcohol when I pursued practicing yoga more seriously. I was never tempted by moderation, because alcohol didn't fit into this new lifestyle I was cultivating for myself, one that made me feel good instead of crappy. We all have our reasons for quitting. I never regretted mine.
So true how moderation serves us in so many other areas but not with alcohol. Thanks for the feedback and congrats on the sober lifestyle you've embraced since '96! Such a great choice
This article is fantastic!
Thank you Paul 🙏🏼
Thanks for writing this, Shane! For me, when I had to negotiate, alcohol had already won. For most of my life, I tried to control my drinking, but my version of moderation did not equal a moderate amount for most of those years!
So true! Moderation with above-moderate quantities is counterintuitive and counterproductive. Thanks for the insight, Maria ✨
You perfectly articulated that horrible merry go round of self deception. Thank you. So happy I got off almost nine years ago. 😊
Thank you for sharing. I been sober for 8 years now and I am always thinking about drinking especially on my birthday just on my birthday I have a case of beer saved. I only will drink a couple of beers and see how it goes. Should I do it or not?
Hi Timothy, Thank you for being here - huge recognition on 8 years!
Personally, if I were in your shoes, one thing I would do is play the tape forwards: How do you imagine you’ll feel the day after? What about the day after that? How did it predictably play out in the past?
We don’t offer personal advice or support services in this newsletter... Do you have a sponsor or sober friend you could call or text? Or perhaps a meeting you could attend? There are lots of free online meetings here: https://www.intherooms.com/livemeetings/list
You might also check out Adam’s writing and coaching: https://rehabitus.substack.com/p/11-sobriety-coaching
And Ellie’s writing and coaching:
https://ellienova.substack.com/
https://www.ellie-nova.com/about-sober-coaching
There are lots of folks writing and speaking about their own experiences in the AF link-ups here: https://soberapp.substack.com/t/af-link-ups
And you can find even more sober voices and community on SoberStack: https://danaleighlyons.substack.com/p/sober-substack-addiction-recovery-sobriety
Hope that helps. Rooting for you, friend.
Thank you for writing back, I appreciate it
Thanks for the question, Timothy. Alcohol is such a baffling poison because not only do we use it to numb out, we use it to celebrate. My personal feeling here is that you, your 8 years of sobriety, and each trip you take around the sun deserve to be celebrated in healthy ways that honor you, your worth, and the work you've done to get this far. No matter what you choose, I hope you know your value ✨
If you are an alcoholic, (have an abnormal relationship with alcohol, like me- it will be nine years in November) one is too much and 1000 not enough. My suggestion is to reflect on what that drink means in reality. Not fantasy. Reflect on the reality of what sobriety has afforded you in these 8 years. We all have these fantasy thoughts… they are just that, fantasy. 🥰
Congratulations on 9 years. Thanks for your support.