My Sobriety Story with Carolyn
“It is never too late to start this journey, and you will be giving yourself the greatest gift ever.”
This series showcases personal stories of addiction recovery and sobriety. Today’s edition features
, a 62-year-old grandmother who, after drinking for 40 years, quit alcohol just after her 58th birthday and changed her life. Carolyn lives by the coast in North Wales, and after a 30-year career in public service, she now works as a sober coach, yoga teacher, and retreat host. She is passionate about the outdoors, her dogs, her family, her self-development and yoga education, her work with her clients and students, and completing her “60 for her 60s” bucket-list items. You can find Carolyn on her website, Facebook, and Instagram, and on Substack at: .When and how did you get sober?
On December 31, 2020, I had my last alcoholic drink. I didn’t know it would be my last, as my intention was to try to complete a Dry January. I joined the Dry January Facebook group and was astonished to realize that there were hundreds of people like me!
In week 3, I began realizing that, for the first time in years, I felt I had some control over my life. This realization led me to revise my goal, and I set my next date to drink as February 26 (my husband’s birthday). I shifted that date to Easter, then moved it to the May bank holiday, then to my wedding anniversary in June.
Of course, by the time June arrived, I had already realized that I would not be drinking again in 2021. I told friends and colleagues that I was doing “one year no beer,” which helped me avoid difficult questions and feel more confident.
What was the turning point in your decision to get sober?
I found myself drinking more when trying to cope with grief. First, my closest friend died from breast cancer in 2016. Then, three months later, in December 2016, my youngest brother Michael started drinking again after being sober for a long time.
Between December and June, Michael isolated himself from family and friends. When I finally got to see him in June 2017, I called a doctor, as I was so shocked at how unwell he was. During the ambulance journey to the hospital, Michael held my hand and told me, “If they save me, I’m never drinking again.” Five days later, he passed away at the age of 52.
We were all devastated, and I experienced a distressing combination of sadness, anger, and guilt. I drank more to try to cope with my emotions. My drinking escalated further during the pandemic, when it became my norm to open a wine bottle every evening after work. I became worried that I was going the same way as my father (who had died at 48) and brother. I found myself unable to cope with the stress of the pandemic, and I don’t think I had ever really processed the grief of my losses.
In December 2020, I looked in a mirror and saw my brother looking back at me. It was like he was warning me of the potential consequences of my drinking habit. I knew I had to take action.
What surprised you about getting sober?
I think the biggest surprise about getting sober is that it isn’t the life of gloom, doom, and boredom that I imagined it would be. I used to read about sober celebrities and honestly think, “How the heck do they manage to enjoy life?” I used to think life would be extremely dull, but I actually found the opposite.
Another thing that surprised me about getting sober was how soon it became a lot less challenging than I imagined it would be. I think the key to this was working on a mindset shift and developing a sober toolbox early on.
Of course, when I first stopped drinking, I had no idea what a sober toolbox consisted of. But by focusing on my health and learning all I could about alcohol and sobriety, I found that after the first couple of weeks, the desire to drink was almost entirely gone!
I realized I didn’t need to have super strong willpower. By educating myself on how the addictive pattern had formed, I was able to live my life with no yearning to continue to consume the poison that was killing me.
What’s the biggest challenge you’ve encountered on your recovery journey?
The only thing that concerned me about my ability to stay sober was the worry about how I might respond to the loss of someone significant in my life. And so it was that the biggest challenge on my sober journey came in 2023, around 28 months into my sobriety.
My mother was diagnosed as being in the final stages of renal failure, and at 84, she made the choice to have no medical intervention. I moved in with my mum to take care of her, and five weeks after receiving the diagnosis, she passed away peacefully at home.
I was grateful for my sobriety during this period, as it meant I was fully present and able to spend quality time with my mother during her final days. Of course, the pain of her loss was immense, and it would be a lie to say I never experienced a desire to numb it out with alcohol—but I was strong enough to resist the urge, which lasted only a short time.
The second challenge came immediately after my mum’s death, when my husband and I separated for 12 months. We had been together since 1979, so naturally, this was an extremely tough time for us. I felt as though I had lost the only two people who were my rocks, my support, my anchors.
During this time—particularly toward the end of 2023—I struggled a great deal with my emotions. There were a couple of occasions when I seriously considered drinking wine to numb myself, but crucially, I resisted the desire. I recall spending hours on my yoga mat: chanting, practicing asana, burning incense, meditating, leaning into spirituality, going to the beach, and howling at the sea.
My distress was evident, so there were days when all I could do was rest and recharge. But all through my anguish, I kept telling myself that how I felt was temporary—it needed to be felt, and it would pass.
After a few months apart, my husband and I started to see each other again. It was when we went away together to the funeral of a close friend—who always told me our separation would be temporary—that we made the decision to try to repair our marriage. Thankfully, we’ve now been reconciled for almost a year, and the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” seems to have been accurate in our case!
What are the biggest benefits or gifts of sobriety?
Considering the benefits of sobriety, I can say with absolute certainty that since 2020, my life has completely turned around. I started doing short workouts from YouTube—just 15 minutes—but I made them non-negotiable. It was hard at first, but I soon lost some weight, which made exercising easier than before. My skin and hair are better, and my general health has improved significantly.
I’ve learned to paddleboard, been on a sea kayaking expedition, gone solo camping, volunteered at festivals alone, traveled solo to Bali, completed some yoga teacher training, and organized sober meetups—including climbing Snowdon, a zip-lining adventure, nature walks, and monthly brunch meetings for sober or sober-curious people. I’ve also become an accredited sober coach (which has incorporated my skills from a 30+ year career in public service). I volunteer in the sober community by hosting Zoom calls and women’s circles.
One of the biggest gifts for me has been the introduction of yoga into my life. It has become a passion—and a highly unexpected one, given that I used to think yoga was just for young, skinny people! But yoga is not just the poses (asana); it’s so much more. I’m passionate about learning all I can about yoga philosophy, and as a result, I completed my 200-hour teacher training last year at age 61. This year, I’ll complete my 300-hour training as part of my intention to keep this a lifelong labor of love.
Another gift of sobriety has been the confidence it’s given me to pursue my dream of hosting retreats. In September 2025, I’ll host another retreat in Bali, and it will be the fifth time I’ve traveled to this paradise island in the last four years. I know for a fact this would never have happened during my drinking days.
What words of advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety or newly sober?
My top tips for someone considering sobriety would be to initially write down all your reasons why you want to stop. Read all you can about sobriety (there are so many “quit lit” books out there). Get yourself a beautiful journal and write something every day—it doesn’t have to be a lot, just capture your thoughts and feelings. Download a sober app (I used I Am Sober). Listen to sober-related podcasts. Hire a sober coach if that’s available to you. Find a community. Get out into nature every day.
Reward yourself for each milestone—your first week, first month, 60 days, 100 days. In fact, reward yourself for just getting through a day! Keep reminding yourself that moderation is not an option, and that whatever happens in your life, you will not drink.
Most importantly, believe in yourself. It is never too late to start this journey (though the earlier, the better), and you will be giving yourself the greatest gift ever. Always love.
Want to share your sobriety story?
Thank you for sharing, Carolyn! We look forward to connecting with you in the comments.
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Such a beautiful, expansive story, Carolyn. Thank you for sharing with us!
Inspiring. Thank you!