Thank you so much for sharing, Tacita. Your experience getting and staying sober in London is next level. I got sober in early 2020 during lockdown so had it easier in certain ways (although "easy" is of course subjective and relative). Huge recognition and celebration of your sobriety!
Thank you so much Dana! Congrats on getting sober in during lockdown 🫶🏽 I found that lockdown was just another excuse/reason to drink earlier in the day so huge kudos to you 💞
Tacita!!! This was beautifully written, I was hanging onto every word. I relate with the majority of your story, from living in a community where drinking hard is most often overlooked and accepted, then your experience getting sober in the same community is mind blowing. The personal changes, the friends that are lost, the excusing yourself for tea and chocolate after smelling it on a friends breath.. I’ve experience all of these same occurrences. I believe you said it’s been 351 days, which is amazing!! Keep it up and please keep sharing your story. You really have a gift with your words and I’m excited to read more! 💜
Thank you so much Kasey🫶🏽 honestly that hard drinking culture is seen as a strength - the more you can drink, the more you can take, the more prestige you have. And the absolute collapse of some friendships...well you know the weird concoction of feelings with that one 🥲 Like Dana said, thank you for sharing a snapshot of your experience. I'm so glad this piece resonated with you. Thank you for you lovely words! x
Great to read your story Tacita - and celebrating you! As I know well, quitting booze when you've developed an addiction, in a culture where - as you say - drinking, often to excess, is the norm - makes you an absolute warrior. I was living in London too when I quit, but I think I was a bit older than you and was very lucky that as my friends and I shifted to a different life stage, we'd mostly left behind the days of clubbing etc. And in my first year of sobriety it was lockdown and I was pregnant so that made things easier too!! I can imagine it would be so tough if everyone around is still drinking loads and if that had been the case, I definitely would have had a hermit lifestyle as you did to begin with :)
Also I always leave things before people start to get slurry, and because sleep is so important to me! xx
Thanks Ellie! That's so sweet💙 its so lovely that you and your friends were transitioning into different life stages around the same time, you must have felt a sense of solidarity with your decision? Also, congrats on your sobriety and pregnancy! 🫶🏽
The early days of my sobriety were quite strange because I was suddenly hyper aware of how common and prevalent the alcohol chat was in pretty much all environments so defo being a hermit was a godsend 😂 xx
Sounds as though we got sober around the same time, Ellie. So beautiful imagining folks making the same choice in all different situations, settings, and corners of the world. ❤️
Made it easier in a surprising way. We have a different flair here in Austin, Texas, but the drinking culture is similar to what you described in Britain. It has that American-country vibe to it, but it's almost exactly the same.
Somewhat ironically, it actually was so obvious (and a bit overwhelming), that it made me completely reject it. It felt like the choice was either A. avoid it altogether or B. become a raging alcoholic. There wasn't a middle-ground (it seemed). So anyway, I chose option A and my life is perfectly fine here. Maybe less bars, but I can survive that.
Tacita, this was so beautiful to read. I feel like I could sense what you were feeling while you were in it and the protective nature of being out of it. It sounds like you made a choice that was far from a foregone conclusion in your community, like swimming upstream toward what you needed for yourself.
It’s got me thinking about location a lot. I got sober in Denver after living here a few years. I didn’t think the place I was living had anything to do with it, but then I went back to Chicago (where I lived just before moving here) last weekend and I could feel a pretty big distinction in how I was responded to when I’d order a NA drink (if they even had one on the menu). Obviously context matters but I had no idea how much until I went back. Kudos to you Tacita for knowing so deeply what you needed it drowned out the rest 💜
So interesting to hear the difference between Denver and Chicago, Kaitlyn. I hadn’t really considered the implications of location in that particular way (probably because I rarely go out to eat or go out at all!). But it no doubt makes a difference in whether someone feels as though they belong and are included.
Thank you so much for sharing, Tacita. Your experience getting and staying sober in London is next level. I got sober in early 2020 during lockdown so had it easier in certain ways (although "easy" is of course subjective and relative). Huge recognition and celebration of your sobriety!
Thank you so much Dana! Congrats on getting sober in during lockdown 🫶🏽 I found that lockdown was just another excuse/reason to drink earlier in the day so huge kudos to you 💞
Tacita!!! This was beautifully written, I was hanging onto every word. I relate with the majority of your story, from living in a community where drinking hard is most often overlooked and accepted, then your experience getting sober in the same community is mind blowing. The personal changes, the friends that are lost, the excusing yourself for tea and chocolate after smelling it on a friends breath.. I’ve experience all of these same occurrences. I believe you said it’s been 351 days, which is amazing!! Keep it up and please keep sharing your story. You really have a gift with your words and I’m excited to read more! 💜
Thanks for being here and for sharing a window into your own journey, Kasey!
Thank you so much Kasey🫶🏽 honestly that hard drinking culture is seen as a strength - the more you can drink, the more you can take, the more prestige you have. And the absolute collapse of some friendships...well you know the weird concoction of feelings with that one 🥲 Like Dana said, thank you for sharing a snapshot of your experience. I'm so glad this piece resonated with you. Thank you for you lovely words! x
Great to read your story Tacita - and celebrating you! As I know well, quitting booze when you've developed an addiction, in a culture where - as you say - drinking, often to excess, is the norm - makes you an absolute warrior. I was living in London too when I quit, but I think I was a bit older than you and was very lucky that as my friends and I shifted to a different life stage, we'd mostly left behind the days of clubbing etc. And in my first year of sobriety it was lockdown and I was pregnant so that made things easier too!! I can imagine it would be so tough if everyone around is still drinking loads and if that had been the case, I definitely would have had a hermit lifestyle as you did to begin with :)
Also I always leave things before people start to get slurry, and because sleep is so important to me! xx
Thanks Ellie! That's so sweet💙 its so lovely that you and your friends were transitioning into different life stages around the same time, you must have felt a sense of solidarity with your decision? Also, congrats on your sobriety and pregnancy! 🫶🏽
The early days of my sobriety were quite strange because I was suddenly hyper aware of how common and prevalent the alcohol chat was in pretty much all environments so defo being a hermit was a godsend 😂 xx
Sounds as though we got sober around the same time, Ellie. So beautiful imagining folks making the same choice in all different situations, settings, and corners of the world. ❤️
Made it easier in a surprising way. We have a different flair here in Austin, Texas, but the drinking culture is similar to what you described in Britain. It has that American-country vibe to it, but it's almost exactly the same.
Somewhat ironically, it actually was so obvious (and a bit overwhelming), that it made me completely reject it. It felt like the choice was either A. avoid it altogether or B. become a raging alcoholic. There wasn't a middle-ground (it seemed). So anyway, I chose option A and my life is perfectly fine here. Maybe less bars, but I can survive that.
Hurray for option A, Kevin!
Tacita, this was so beautiful to read. I feel like I could sense what you were feeling while you were in it and the protective nature of being out of it. It sounds like you made a choice that was far from a foregone conclusion in your community, like swimming upstream toward what you needed for yourself.
It’s got me thinking about location a lot. I got sober in Denver after living here a few years. I didn’t think the place I was living had anything to do with it, but then I went back to Chicago (where I lived just before moving here) last weekend and I could feel a pretty big distinction in how I was responded to when I’d order a NA drink (if they even had one on the menu). Obviously context matters but I had no idea how much until I went back. Kudos to you Tacita for knowing so deeply what you needed it drowned out the rest 💜
So interesting to hear the difference between Denver and Chicago, Kaitlyn. I hadn’t really considered the implications of location in that particular way (probably because I rarely go out to eat or go out at all!). But it no doubt makes a difference in whether someone feels as though they belong and are included.