The Gifts of a Sober Life
“What are the biggest benefits or gifts of sobriety?” We ask this as part of the My Sobriety Story series, and I recently posed the same question on Notes (Substack’s social media platform, for those unfamiliar).
The responses brought tears to my eyes! They offer a beautiful window into how sobriety is about so much more than just quitting alcohol. It affects every part of us and every relationship in our lives.
Thank you to everyone who participated. Head below to read the responses and add your own in the comments!
What are the biggest benefits or gifts of sobriety?
“In my experience, drinking always shut things down and closed things off. Possibilities slipped away, relationships were blocked, and the horizon became darker and more narrow. Sobriety opens things up and stirs possibility back to life. Promises are kept, relationships grow, trust is built, and the days ahead are marked by hope, even when they are uncertain.”
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,“For me the biggest benefit is also sometimes the biggest curse, sitting with all of the beauty and all of the pain simultaneously. Being sober means I have had some of the purest happiness in my life and the lowest lows as well. But in the end, it has been worth the pain, worth knowing that I am finally living the entire fragile human experience with open eyes.”
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,“I’m present in my life. Even when I wasn’t actively drinking, it was like I was a bystander in my own family. I couldn’t enjoy anything, I wasn’t really there. Now that I’m sober, I can be present in the moment and have joy in my day to day circumstances.”
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,“You want to know something? No one has asked me that question yet in the entirety of my 482 days AF. Not family, friends, not even on good ‘ol Sober Instagram, which I’m finding more difficult to digest these days. But while I’m in the warm spring of your attention, I’ll tell you that for me the biggest gift of sobriety has been clarity. This might sound banal but I’m talking about reclaiming the self-confidence and individual power that one loses when they can’t answer what they said or did the night before. When I’m responsible for three little lives, a house, and my own person, there is no greater gift than sobriety in my opinion.”
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,“Showing up for myself with love, acknowledging my feelings and meeting my needs - rather than temporarily numbing out. Also being fully alive, fully present for my experience.”
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,“I sleep better, I think more clearly, and I no longer bullsh*t myself! Acknowledging my unhealthy relationship with alcohol & THC forced me to recognize my capacity for self-deception and self-destructive behavior so I could defend myself from me and relearn how to take care of myself. Those have been invaluable gifts in every aspect of my life.”
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,“I finally feel ‘there’ or ‘here.’ That place I spent a fair amount of time trying to get to or thought about wanting. In sobriety everything is clicking more often than not. I feel able more than I feel unable. I feel the joy of life and being alive so much more intensely than I feel the weight of my past now. Finally.”
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“We observe the projections we create. (Someone else’s quote btw, but I’ve grown to love it). In addiction, these projections are miserable. In sobriety, that dark fog is lifted. We see a beauty of life that was there all along—within us to create, and so out there in the world we observe.”
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,“Sobriety has helped me open my hands up daily to the mess. That may not sound like a gift, but it has proven to be one for me. It has been an acknowledgement of self - to all the ways I feel and move and show up to the day. No longer numbing, I am feeling it all. And most of all, it has helped me repair the relationship I have with myself. Which, I’m learning, is really the most important one of all. Because how can I show up for others when I don’t show up for me?”
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,“My ability to lead from the heart. To be present in the moment and know my actions are chosen by me, not some hazy version of myself. The gift of sobriety has brought me to my truest self, the one I was running from all along.”
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,“Feeling it all! I used to be scared to feel anything (even joy), and I just wanted to numb out the discomfort and float through life. It was a pleasant surprise when I got sober and realised feeling the full spectrum of my emotions—while sometimes painful—is what makes me feel alive. The connection to my emotional body and the courage that comes with feeling has been the greatest gift.”
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,“1) I stopped playing small. No more settling for good enough. 2) Because I have been vulnerable, the people who like the real me could find me (and vice versa), so I have made connections amazingly easily 3) Problems that would previously have caused me angst feel more manageable because I trust myself implicitly now.”
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,“The biggest benefit for me, hands down—every single damn day—is not having a hangover! It never gets old.”
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,“The greatest gift of sobriety for me is feeling all my feelings, as difficult as that can be. This gift means that not only do I get to feel my joy more deeply, but it means I have finally processed some massive grief I shoved down for years. Because I am fully sober, I get to live a mindful life. I get to experience the gift of the present.”
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,“I’m much more patient with my kids. I wake up feeling great in the morning (and when I don’t, I know it wasn’t because of ‘that last drink’ 😂). I’m more connected to my self and in tune with my intuition. My self-growth/development has been a gift of my sobriety and I love getting to experience it with others through recovery meetings. It’s exciting and encouraging to hear others’ experience on this path and it reminds me why I’m on this journey on those days I may forget.”
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,“To me, sobriety is feeling connected to myself, and living an authentic life. Alcohol disconnected me from myself, whereas feeling my feelings actually frees me from them. I can feel, then release. My mind is clear and I can be my true self.”
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,“As someone who’s been sober since quitting drinking in mid 2014, I have a few benefits of sobriety I can list for you: 1) No hangovers (👍😁👍). 2) No ‘chats with Jesus’ through the porcelain phone (my toilet 🚽 🤮). 3) None of the dreaded ‘dude… Guess what YOU did last night?’ phone calls the next day. 4) Better liver & kidney functions. 5) The money I’ve saved since quitting. Given how much an average beer costs nowadays, the amount I’ve saved is mind blowing. 🤯 6) Better memory recalling. 7) Happier personal life (no one yelling at me while I have a pounding headache 😵💫😵💫😵💫). 8) Ability to focus more on my long term health & my family.”
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What are the biggest benefits or gifts of sobriety for you?
We’d love to hear in the comments!
And if you’d like to contribute to the My Sobriety Story series, email me for details at hello@danaleighlyons.com.
Also, please take a moment to tap the little heart before you go. It lets others know there’s something useful here and helps us grow this community.
Heart-sourced gratitude to you all. Thank you for your presence here and for sharing so honestly, openly, and beautifully. ❤️
What a fantastically wonderful thing to read as I sip my coffee this morning. 💞 I feel like we are all part of the greatest club on earth. Sobriety is a superpower that continues to channel love in every direction.
Thanks for all you do here, Dana. You are one of the gifts of sobriety, for sure.