What advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety?

I wanted to ask our sober community...

One of the things I love most about this space is that we welcome and celebrate all paths to getting and staying alcohol free.

What that means in practice is that no two experiences look exactly the same. What supports one person might not resonate with another—and what works at one stage of sobriety may shift over time.

With that in mind, and recognizing that not every piece of advice will be for everyone (but might be exactly what someone else needs), I wanted to ask our sober community:

What words of advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety or newly sober?

We ask this in the My Sobriety Story series, so I’ve pulled together some recent responses below. You can find the full stories here.

Whether you’re sober curious and looking for inspiration… navigating a tough stretch… or feeling steady in your sobriety and wanting to reflect and connect—I hope you’ll find this collective wisdom reassuring, encouraging, and a reminder that you’re not alone.

We’d love to hear from you, too. What advice would you offer someone who’s newly sober or thinking about it? Please share in the comments.

If you’d like to contribute to the My Sobriety Story series, we’d be delighted to have you. You can email me here for the questions and guidelines.

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“You don’t have to wait until alcohol has destroyed your life. And you don’t have to prove your problem is worse than anyone else’s. The line between this is fine and this is a problem is almost entirely internal, and only you can draw it for yourself. What are you drinking to avoid? What are you trying not to feel?

Also, you don’t have to solve forever today. Try one day. Then thirty. Then sixty. Once the fog of shame starts to lift, it will be much harder to go back to your old way of living.” —Rachel Van Dolsen

“Getting sober sucks, staying sober is fucking awesome. Find people who are living their lives fully while sober. Don’t listen to anyone who says it makes life duller. And remind yourself, if alcohol actually fixed anything, you’d be somewhere else by now.” —Hannah Winokur 🐆🐆🐆

“There will still be good days and bad days, happy days and sad days. But overall, things improve. Relationships mend. Sleep gets better. Your body starts to recover.

Don’t rush the process or expect everything to be fixed right away. Enjoy the journey, notice the small changes, and look forward to even more good things ahead. Give yourself time—and let the good things happen.” —Through Sober Eyes

“I remember being at meetings and hearing some of the old timers talk. One in particular would always say that being sober has given him a life beyond anything he could hope for. In the beginning, I didn’t understand what he meant. But I kept going to meetings and taking it one day at a time. I can say that I have a life beyond what I could have hoped for.

The journey hasn’t been a straight line. All I can say is you can keep moving forward one day at a time. If you choose AA, find a couple of meetings that resonate with you or move on. If you don’t think AA is for you, then find people who are on the same journey and keep them close. Don’t be afraid to get professional help; I have, and it has been so beneficial.” —Sue McWilliams

“Believe in the unbelievable. If you haven’t yet progressed to the physical addiction state, then you likely still see alcohol as an enabler. If you have, then you know that it’s not, but you can’t imagine a way out of the cycle. In either case, true sobriety will free you to accomplish and experience things you can’t currently imagine.

Do the hard work—the really hard stuff. You’ll need to dismantle the worst of you to free the best of you. Be kind to your current self—you’re a work in progress.” —Steve Munro 🇨🇦

“I speak at a lot of treatment centers in the area, and I always wear a hat that says ‘Keep going.’ Someone told me once, ‘If you’re going through hell, don’t stop,’ and that just really stuck with me. Life is full of ups and downs, but a drink will never make it better.” —Greg Downs

“If you’ve read this far and you are sober curious, this is what you need to know: you are worthy to give it a try. You are worthy of a big, beautiful life. Give yourself 30 days. If you can honestly say your life is worse after 30 days alcohol-free, then drinking will always be there for you to return to. It’s not going anywhere. It’s hard to drink, and it’s hard to stop drinking—pick your hard.” —MaryBeth Murphy

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What’s one piece of advice that made a difference for you, or that you wish you had heard sooner?

Please share in the comments. And before you go, would you take a second to tap that little heart? It lets others know there’s something helpful here and grows our sober community.

We know that sharing about recovery and sobriety can feel vulnerable. Like in recovery groups, we ask that commenters in this space refrain from giving unsolicited advice or spreading hate and division. Thank you for helping us foster a kind and inclusive community!

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Dr. Dana Leigh Lyons, DTCM is a Doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine offering heart-sourced guidance on body-mind-spirit wellness. She manages Sober App Substack and writes PERFECT HUNGER, a newsletter devoted to living a more beautiful, nourishing life.