What a beautiful post! As a medical provider who writes about alcohol, ADHD, and other mental health disorders, I can say that for individuals who are socially anxious or socially adverse, alcohol might provide temporary relief by making them feel more outgoing. However, in the long run, it prevents them from being true to themselves. It hinders the genuine experience of living, which involves learning to embrace life's discomforts and experiences. The temporary escape from their true selves quickly diminishes as the effects of alcohol wear off, leaving them feeling even more hopeless and helpless in facing their own reality and environment. It's a tough struggle, but your awakening and awareness are truly remarkable. Your beautiful post effectively highlights this struggle.
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond with care 🙏🏻
You hit the nail on the head when you said that alcohol hinders the genuine experience of living and stops us from showing up authentically. It's no wonder that so many of us come into recovery and feel like newborns! I've spent so much time learning things that many of my peers learned decades ago. But at the same time this fresh perspective has given me an advantage, especially when combined with the magic of a neurodivergent brain. I feel like my creativity is at an all-time high! I truly believe that I had to go through the debilitating struggle of addiction in order to get where I am today. And sharing my story is one of the most powerful ways I know of processing my past trauma.
Thank you for your kind words and feedback, and for the work you do in this field 💗
Thank you for sharing this Kezia - oh what a beautiful last line: 'I am inherently beautiful and worthy, exactly as I am.' YES.
This is so interesting to read. I don't think I'm neurodivergent, though I am highly sensitive and introverted which means that I can socialise with lots of people for a max of 3 hours and then I'm done. But when I was drinking it numbed out my cues that I needed a break, and so I'd just keep going and going. I used it to push through in social situations that, when sober, I would have found overwhelming.
And I hugely relate to using alcohol to hide who I was. One of the big shifts for me in my sobriety journey was realising that I wasn't ever giving people a chance to get to know the real me when I was drinking. I assumed people wouldn't like me - but I had to put that theory to the test by showing up sober. And much to my surprise - people DID like the real me.
Ellie, so happy to hear that parts of my journey resonate for you! It's always so fulfilling to find connection with other women in sobriety. We each have our own path through addiction, and into recovery, but there seems to be a lot of overlap as well. I also happen to be highly sensitive, I only learned what this is in sobriety. It's been eye-opening to say the least! I love what you said about not "ever giving people a change to get to know the real me when I was drinking". This really rings true for me, I didn't love myself and therefore how could I expect others to love me? Isn't it wonderful to be able to show up as our true selves now? I appreciate the time you took to respond so thoughtfully. Thank you 💗
Kezia, this is a great essay. I just discovered you on the writers substack with Sara. I agree, it is important you get more eyes on this essay. How to do that i'm no sure.
“Drinking did for me what I couldn’t do for myself: it hid my insides from the outside world.”
Kezia, this blew me away. Such a gorgeous essay showcasing the beauty that can transpire when neurodivergence and sobriety collide. You are called to do this work and I’m so grateful to know you. 💕
Awe thanks Allison, this discovery has brought me to a place of acceptance with parts of me that I always struggled to love. I’m happy to know that this resonates for you too 🤗💕
Kezia, you don’t know how much this piece means to me. As a recently diagnosed neurodivergent woman (ADHD + OCD) in my early 40’s, I wondered why life always seemed much more difficult for me despite having plans, desire, and knowledge to succeed academically, personally, and professionally. For many years, I drank at struggles because I did not have access to the right tools. I have been extremely hard on myself my entire life. Only recently have I begun to not feel embarrassed to ask for help and I have begun consistently putting into practice the tools that were being shared with me that could possibly help. With access to writing such as yours where I can wholeheartedly relate, my overactive brain has slowly but surely began shutting down constant comparisons to and imagined competitions with the journeys of others. I have been working on allowing myself to stick closer to the path that is mine and mine alone. Thank you.
Awesome read! Thank you for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable on such a grand stage. Your honest, experience, strength and hope certainly helped me and I’m certain it helped many others! You keep going on with your big beautiful brain!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Kezia!
I’m grateful for the opportunity, thanks Dana!! 🥰
What a beautiful post! As a medical provider who writes about alcohol, ADHD, and other mental health disorders, I can say that for individuals who are socially anxious or socially adverse, alcohol might provide temporary relief by making them feel more outgoing. However, in the long run, it prevents them from being true to themselves. It hinders the genuine experience of living, which involves learning to embrace life's discomforts and experiences. The temporary escape from their true selves quickly diminishes as the effects of alcohol wear off, leaving them feeling even more hopeless and helpless in facing their own reality and environment. It's a tough struggle, but your awakening and awareness are truly remarkable. Your beautiful post effectively highlights this struggle.
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond with care 🙏🏻
You hit the nail on the head when you said that alcohol hinders the genuine experience of living and stops us from showing up authentically. It's no wonder that so many of us come into recovery and feel like newborns! I've spent so much time learning things that many of my peers learned decades ago. But at the same time this fresh perspective has given me an advantage, especially when combined with the magic of a neurodivergent brain. I feel like my creativity is at an all-time high! I truly believe that I had to go through the debilitating struggle of addiction in order to get where I am today. And sharing my story is one of the most powerful ways I know of processing my past trauma.
Thank you for your kind words and feedback, and for the work you do in this field 💗
Thank you for sharing this Kezia - oh what a beautiful last line: 'I am inherently beautiful and worthy, exactly as I am.' YES.
This is so interesting to read. I don't think I'm neurodivergent, though I am highly sensitive and introverted which means that I can socialise with lots of people for a max of 3 hours and then I'm done. But when I was drinking it numbed out my cues that I needed a break, and so I'd just keep going and going. I used it to push through in social situations that, when sober, I would have found overwhelming.
And I hugely relate to using alcohol to hide who I was. One of the big shifts for me in my sobriety journey was realising that I wasn't ever giving people a chance to get to know the real me when I was drinking. I assumed people wouldn't like me - but I had to put that theory to the test by showing up sober. And much to my surprise - people DID like the real me.
Ellie, so happy to hear that parts of my journey resonate for you! It's always so fulfilling to find connection with other women in sobriety. We each have our own path through addiction, and into recovery, but there seems to be a lot of overlap as well. I also happen to be highly sensitive, I only learned what this is in sobriety. It's been eye-opening to say the least! I love what you said about not "ever giving people a change to get to know the real me when I was drinking". This really rings true for me, I didn't love myself and therefore how could I expect others to love me? Isn't it wonderful to be able to show up as our true selves now? I appreciate the time you took to respond so thoughtfully. Thank you 💗
Kezia, this is a great essay. I just discovered you on the writers substack with Sara. I agree, it is important you get more eyes on this essay. How to do that i'm no sure.
Thank you for your kind words 🙏🏻 I guess I'll have to trust in the Universe that my people will find me!
This line - yup. So much resonance:
“Drinking did for me what I couldn’t do for myself: it hid my insides from the outside world.”
Kezia, this blew me away. Such a gorgeous essay showcasing the beauty that can transpire when neurodivergence and sobriety collide. You are called to do this work and I’m so grateful to know you. 💕
Awe thanks Allison, this discovery has brought me to a place of acceptance with parts of me that I always struggled to love. I’m happy to know that this resonates for you too 🤗💕
Kezia, you don’t know how much this piece means to me. As a recently diagnosed neurodivergent woman (ADHD + OCD) in my early 40’s, I wondered why life always seemed much more difficult for me despite having plans, desire, and knowledge to succeed academically, personally, and professionally. For many years, I drank at struggles because I did not have access to the right tools. I have been extremely hard on myself my entire life. Only recently have I begun to not feel embarrassed to ask for help and I have begun consistently putting into practice the tools that were being shared with me that could possibly help. With access to writing such as yours where I can wholeheartedly relate, my overactive brain has slowly but surely began shutting down constant comparisons to and imagined competitions with the journeys of others. I have been working on allowing myself to stick closer to the path that is mine and mine alone. Thank you.
Awesome read! Thank you for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable on such a grand stage. Your honest, experience, strength and hope certainly helped me and I’m certain it helped many others! You keep going on with your big beautiful brain!