So much recognition for your clarity, honesty, and sobriety, Paulina. I especially appreciate your awareness around how your drug of choice and addictive patterns shifted over time.
I’ve always considered anorexia and obsessive-compulsive patterning my primary drugs of choice; for me, recovering from those was much harder than quitting alcohol. And I’m still deeply addicted to external validation, so I guess that’s my drug of choice these days - thankfully, it’s far less destructive than my previous addictions. Always another layer to explore...
Really loved this piece and I can relate to so much of your story. Strict parents, perfectionism, ice skating!
I myself loved alcohol from the very beginning, it gave me courage and numbed me and for years it worked pretty well. Of course, I was also a black out drinker and those nights became more frequent the older I got. I think I knew at around 27 years old that I had a serious problem but I wasn’t ready to do anything about it, other than divorce my also alcoholic husband.
I also loved weed but as I got older that quit being relaxing and started to make me paranoid. The divorce coincided with my ability to give that up almost instantly.
Finally at 35 I was ready to test out living life alcohol free. It took me a couple of “30 day challenges” but eventually it clicked and I’ve been sober since June of 2020!
“It's not what you use or how much you use, it's what happens when you use “ or something similar. My last Day drinking or using was 9 years and 29 days ago. I still can have bad days now but even those are leaps and bounds above the hopelessness of before. Thank you for sharing your story.
So much recognition for your clarity, honesty, and sobriety, Paulina. I especially appreciate your awareness around how your drug of choice and addictive patterns shifted over time.
I’ve always considered anorexia and obsessive-compulsive patterning my primary drugs of choice; for me, recovering from those was much harder than quitting alcohol. And I’m still deeply addicted to external validation, so I guess that’s my drug of choice these days - thankfully, it’s far less destructive than my previous addictions. Always another layer to explore...
Really loved this piece and I can relate to so much of your story. Strict parents, perfectionism, ice skating!
I myself loved alcohol from the very beginning, it gave me courage and numbed me and for years it worked pretty well. Of course, I was also a black out drinker and those nights became more frequent the older I got. I think I knew at around 27 years old that I had a serious problem but I wasn’t ready to do anything about it, other than divorce my also alcoholic husband.
I also loved weed but as I got older that quit being relaxing and started to make me paranoid. The divorce coincided with my ability to give that up almost instantly.
Finally at 35 I was ready to test out living life alcohol free. It took me a couple of “30 day challenges” but eventually it clicked and I’ve been sober since June of 2020!
I’m so honored to hear it resonated! And congratulations on the click, it’s a precious, special thing 🫶🏻
I really appreciate your honesty in your writing. 🥊
“It's not what you use or how much you use, it's what happens when you use “ or something similar. My last Day drinking or using was 9 years and 29 days ago. I still can have bad days now but even those are leaps and bounds above the hopelessness of before. Thank you for sharing your story.