What advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety?

In celebration of this beautiful, diverse community, I wanted to ask...

Mar 23, 2026

One of the things I love most about this space is that we welcome and celebrate all paths to getting and staying alcohol free.

What that means in practice is that no two experiences look exactly the same. What supports one person might not resonate with another—and what works at one stage of sobriety may shift over time.

With that in mind, and recognizing that not every piece of advice will be for everyone (but might be exactly what someone else needs), I’d love to ask our sober community:

What words of advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety or newly sober?

We ask this in the My Sobriety Story series, so I’ve pulled together some responses below. You can find the full stories here.

Whether you’re sober curious and looking for inspiration… navigating a tough stretch… or feeling steady in your sobriety and wanting to reflect and connect—I hope you’ll find this collective wisdom reassuring, encouraging, and a reminder that you’re not alone.

We’d love to hear from you, too. What advice would you offer someone who’s newly sober or thinking about it? Please share in the comments.

And if you’re alcohol-free and would like to contribute to the My Sobriety Story series, we’d love to have you. You can email me here for the questions and guidelines.

“Be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself, and have the courage to ask for help.” —I Can Only Give You Everything

“There are plenty of paths to recovery out there. If you try one and it doesn’t fit, seek another. I’m grateful my sobriety stuck solo, but it would have been a lot easier walking those early days with other folks.” —Josh Luton

“Be proud of your decision. Whether it is for your health, peace, or simply curiosity—own it. You’re taking a positive step toward a lifestyle with so many benefits, and you don’t need to justify it to anyone. This journey is yours, and you get to define what it looks like.” —The Glow Guide by Jen

“Make yourself the number one priority. Nothing is more important than breaking free from this substance. Take excessive care of yourself—especially in the early weeks and months. If you think it’s indulgent or ‘too much,’ brilliant. You’re on the right track.” —Ellie Nova

“There’s no perfect equation, no precise system, no guaranteed recipe for ‘good’ or ‘bad’ sobriety. It’s just a choice and then another choice. We choose to get drunk, or we don’t. We choose to clean up our act or we stay a mess. We choose to trudge our way through the tough times, or we choose to go limp and flop onto the floor like a toddler and scream. It’s never an easy choice, and the options aren’t great, but it’s always a choice.” —Marya Hornbacher

“You’re allowed to design your sober life in the way that’s most supportive to you.” —Carly Schwartz

“I know that trial and error is not the most fun process, but please don’t give up if the first thing you try doesn’t ‘work.’ That’s not a failure; you’ve gained new information and figured out one path that isn’t right for you. Keep trying, and you’ll eventually find the path that is right for you.” —Katie MacBride

“There’s no one right way to get sober other than not drinking. Don’t take anyone else’s words of the way you have to do sobriety as gospel—not even mine. I feel like it’s such a personal thing and can feel like going against the grain in such a major way, but do seek out the friendship of like-minded people. Do get in touch with the things you liked to do before you started drinking. Treat sobriety like a reward—not a punishment. You don’t have to be sober. You get to be sober.” —Julie Fontes

“This might be an unpopular opinion, but for many people, a year without alcohol will deliver more for their mental and physical health than any therapist, coaching, or transformation program. And it will be way cheaper! The longer you go without a drink, the deeper and more impactful the benefits will be.” —Dr. Paul Chadwick

“Find a community that can hold you, whether it be 12-step, other recovery groups, sober folks online, or in your local community—don’t do it alone.” —Kaitlyn Ramsay

“Now that I’m a few years into this journey, I can go to any meeting and find comfort and relate. But that wasn’t the reality in the beginning, so I would urge you to find the best group for you, with people who will understand not only your addiction but also who you are. As a young woman, that made a world of difference in the beginning. As an immigrant, that still makes a difference, and I attend meetings both here in England and online in Brazil.” —Marianna Portela

“I truly can’t recommend enough that everyone find a community. Go to AA, therapy, church, or yoga. Get online. Blog or write. Get connected with people and do the work. It works if you work it.” —Rilee Wagner

“I heard these words in my first AA meeting: ‘You don’t ever have to drink again if you don’t want to.’ Believe it or not, that felt like new information to a guy like me. If you drank like I drank, this will sound like good news. You might not believe it just yet, but if you believe the person saying it to you, then you might give it a try.” —Parker Gates

“You just need to be sober today.” —Helena Shannon

“Early recovery is hard—keep yourself busy. I remember having an adult coloring book, and just coloring so much. I wrote a lot. I baked a bit. The point here is, find something you love. Maybe you loved that thing as a kid. Maybe you’re just now learning to love it. Love it wholeheartedly and dive into it.” —Kat

“The best analogy I’ve heard in meetings is about riding a bike. When you first get sober, you have to exert a lot of force on the pedals to get it moving. It takes work to go from stationary to moving. But then the pedaling gets easy and feels effortless. As long as you keep pedaling, the bike will stay upright.” —Jake Summers

“If you’re at a party with lots of binge drinking, you can always just leave! You don’t have to be a spectator to drinking events. Trust me, the drinkers are not going to miss you.” —maja roglić

“It is super scary to face the day knowing you are not going to be using alcohol to get over every little hurdle, so I tell people to really notice the moments when there is an absence of anxiety or distress. The more you notice these, the more you appreciate them, which makes it easier to choose the absence of alcohol over the quick fix of a drink.” —Maria Luz O'Rourke

“Write down all your reasons why you want to stop. Read all you can about sobriety (there are so many ‘quit lit’ books out there). Get yourself a beautiful journal and write something every day—it doesn’t have to be a lot, just capture your thoughts and feelings. Download a sober app (I used I Am Sober). Listen to sober-related podcasts. Hire a sober coach if that’s available to you. Find a community. Get out into nature every day.” —Carolyn Clark

“If you’re struggling with drinking or newly sober, start by writing down everything you’ve already tried to do to stop. Then make a second list of the things you haven’t tried, including the ones you don’t want to try. At the top of that second list, write the word ‘yet.’ Being open to options I had previously resisted made the difference.” —Jessica Dueñas

“Those same tools of getting sober will keep you sober. In some ways, the tools do not change. We do! Deepen and develop the use of them as you grow. For me, meditation, journaling, eating better and exercising, yoga, and talking with others in recovery (so I don’t feel isolated and they feel supported) are the tools.” —Vince Puzick

“One thing that’s always helped me in my life when facing a big decision is: what’s the worst thing that can happen if I do this? Can I live with that outcome? If so, proceed. You can always go back.” —Dee Rambeau

“It will expand your life in ways you can’t yet imagine.” —Lisa Schmidt

“When I first came to the rooms, they said, ‘You’ll find a life beyond your wildest dreams.’ I rolled my eyes and thought, Jesus Christ, these fucking people. But as it turns out, I do have a life beyond my wildest dreams. I know I can walk through anything sober because I have the tools in my toolbox to maintain and monitor my emotional condition and take action if I feel like I’m moving toward a drink.” —Kristen Crocker

“Lean into the things you genuinely enjoy. I love reading, doing puzzles, hot coffee in the morning, a clean kitchen, cutey little bookstores and coffee shops, and My Chemical Romance.” —Sydney Allen

“Stick with the supportive people and walk away from the people who make you feel like you were better when you were drinking. You have made this decision for good reasons and, chances are, their negative reaction has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.” —Becky Handley (she/they)

“Remember that lasting sobriety isn’t a single choice, but a thousand small daily decisions that meet your needs. Keep making good choices, even without immediate rewards, until they become part of who you are. Over time, it’s possible to build a fulfilling inner world that you no longer desire to escape.” —Adam PT

“The most important advice I received in early recovery was to do the hard work on the front end. As I closed in on my discharge date from treatment, I had to swallow the sobering pill (no pun intended) that my work was not done when I left. The goal of rehab was stabilization—slay some demons, feel less alone. In the real world, it was time to actually use my recovery tools.” —Little Edits Atelier

“After treatment, my father gave me the advice to ‘stick with the winners.’ He meant that if someone relapses or is in an unhealthy place, to not cling to them. Keep going to meetings, keep hanging out with people who are working the steps. A drowning person is apt to drown their rescuer, that’s why one throws flotation devices.” —Grace Alexandra Hayden

“Never give up. All you need is provided for, and you are safe. Be well and go with God.” —Alle C. Hall

“You have to show up for it every day.” —Theresa Rath

“Keep at it, be gentle with yourself, have compassion for yourself, and explore new things that are healing, such as yoga, meditation, breathwork, energy healing, and forest bathing. Find events where you can meet new people. Get curious about exploring something completely new—opening your mind and your world to new ideas and possibilities.” —Jamie Marie

“Get curious. Read quit lit; find sober groups and social media accounts; start to notice the red thread across all the stories of finding sobriety: Peace.” —Stephanie Gibbons

“Trust what you already know to be true.” —Randal Lyons

“That little voice that led you to this place, to this spot, that’s the voice you need to listen to now. It seems small and quiet because all of your other self-loathing, self-sabotaging voices are so loud. But as they begin to fade, that tiny voice takes over. That’s the one that saves you.” —Shane Willbanks

“Remember this: you’re not too broken. You’re not too weird. You’re not too late.” —Author Jeremy Evans

What’s one piece of advice that made a difference for you, or that you wish you had heard earlier?

Please share in the comments. And before you go, would you take a second to tap that little heart? It lets others know there’s something helpful here and grows our sober community.

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