I found that living honestly is the way to go. Addiction is just a form of lying to yourself, after all. Writing is therapeutic. It forces me to concentrate on what I am actually feeling. So, writing is also a kind of honesty.
Never enough… that is something I deal with daily still. I had it when I was in my active drinking and now I have it in my recover-it’s been almost 12 years and I have changed the ‘never enough’ to just about everything else-
I need extras and doubles. I buy too much food, house, supplies, cat food, clothing, shoes, cosmetics, and I don’t have the money to be doing this…. I’m not a prepper. I’m just greedy and so so scared of scarcity.
I did grow up whore we did have scarcity. I didn’t realize I had such a fear of it. I’m isolated as well unfortunately, it’s not good for me and I tell myself stories in my head.
It was really helpful to read this. Thank you for sharing it….🙏
You’re welcome. Thanks for sharing your thoughts too. I do the same thing to some degree, as far as fearing not having enough of everything. I think mine comes from perfectionism. I hope you have an excellent day.
Yes, and wherever this fear comes from it is unwelcome!!!
I hope that in some point in the future, I can reassure myself enough that it’s OK to not have extras and backups! The world is not gonna end if I’m out of toothpaste 🤷🏻♀️😂…
And I’m so grateful I finally “ran out of” Alcohol..
Always the outsider...I used to feel terrible about that, and like you, I tried to make that feeling go away. And then I discovered that I liked being who I was. That was a shock. And I think writing played a very large part in finding my way and staying on course.
Thank you for sharing. I enjoy reading these raw heartfelt stories, especially during times I feel weak. I do not want to drink as I know the harm it can cause so thank you for giving me the "PAUSE" I needed. Best to you Strawbeidge &others.
Reading your writing this morning on my way to work at a treatment center gives me hope and courage for not only the patients but myself, much gratitude
Thank you for such a tender, honest share, Strawbridge.
Thank you for sharing my story.
I found that living honestly is the way to go. Addiction is just a form of lying to yourself, after all. Writing is therapeutic. It forces me to concentrate on what I am actually feeling. So, writing is also a kind of honesty.
Never enough… that is something I deal with daily still. I had it when I was in my active drinking and now I have it in my recover-it’s been almost 12 years and I have changed the ‘never enough’ to just about everything else-
I need extras and doubles. I buy too much food, house, supplies, cat food, clothing, shoes, cosmetics, and I don’t have the money to be doing this…. I’m not a prepper. I’m just greedy and so so scared of scarcity.
I did grow up whore we did have scarcity. I didn’t realize I had such a fear of it. I’m isolated as well unfortunately, it’s not good for me and I tell myself stories in my head.
It was really helpful to read this. Thank you for sharing it….🙏
You’re welcome. Thanks for sharing your thoughts too. I do the same thing to some degree, as far as fearing not having enough of everything. I think mine comes from perfectionism. I hope you have an excellent day.
Yes, and wherever this fear comes from it is unwelcome!!!
I hope that in some point in the future, I can reassure myself enough that it’s OK to not have extras and backups! The world is not gonna end if I’m out of toothpaste 🤷🏻♀️😂…
And I’m so grateful I finally “ran out of” Alcohol..
Thank you again for this share!
Always the outsider...I used to feel terrible about that, and like you, I tried to make that feeling go away. And then I discovered that I liked being who I was. That was a shock. And I think writing played a very large part in finding my way and staying on course.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I am glad you are doing better now.
Thank you for sharing. I enjoy reading these raw heartfelt stories, especially during times I feel weak. I do not want to drink as I know the harm it can cause so thank you for giving me the "PAUSE" I needed. Best to you Strawbeidge &others.
Irene, thanks for reading and letting me know how stories like mine impact you. We all need encouragement to carry on. Best to you.
love that you did not pretend the urge is gone. For some of us, “I respect what alcohol can do” is safer than “I beat it.”
and totally with you on writing as a defense system. even a messy 5 minute brain dump can take the edge off a craving
I'm so glad you shared this here.
Thanks Jane.
Relatable. 5 years out of the same swamp.
That swamp was deep. Thanks for reading.
Feel you big Strawbridge - thanks for helping me start another good day,👊
Hey, Joe. You are very welcome. I hope this day is a good one. I think it will be.
Thank you. The feeling of not fitting in rings so true.
You are welcome. Yes, I think belonging is a fundamental human need. So many of us never found it.
Reading your writing this morning on my way to work at a treatment center gives me hope and courage for not only the patients but myself, much gratitude
Rita, thank you. Knowing this gives me strength to continue sharing my story and my truth. I hope you have a good day.