Love this, Paulina! Julia Cameron is such a gift to the sober community (and beyond). And your essay is such a beautiful example of how getting sober is about way more than quitting something. It’s about remembering and stepping into fuller, more creative expression. Thank you for sharing and inspiring!
I loved your writing. I’ve just read/listened to the artists way and started my morning pages. I’ve been sober since March 24 after a 40 year love/hate battle with Alcohol or Al or Beryl the Peril as I used to call my alter ego drunken self. Beryl led me down some very dark paths. I’ve started writing about it but my head is not clear. I’ve been ill since April when a routine knee replacement ended in me having a pulmonary embolism. Then after 6 weeks in hospital I went to a friends party, alcohol free. Got loads of questions about why I wasn’t drinking now as I used to drink loads at these parties but I just said it’s not doing me much good. Especially as I was on a cocktail of medication anyway. Well I left that party pleased that I’d stuck to my intentions but also two days later a dose of Covid. Which was a mutated version doing the rounds in the French village I live in. I got it bad for a month. Then a kidney infection. I’ve had trouble breathing since then but the doctors say they don’t know what’s wrong. I’m seeing another specialist in February. The point is I’m a writer in my DNA. But this constant physical fatigue and cough has worn me down. I’ve lost the habit of writing and sunk into a depression. I’m now on antidepressants. Don’t want them but Dr insists. I’m disappointed because I thought giving up booze after 40 years of trying to stop (20 years trying to stop) 2 stints in rehab, one for 6 months in my early 30s, I would be in that pink cloud. It seems to me that I’m unraveling. My marriage is in the toilet. He still drinks but expects me to stay sober. That’s not the issue. The main issue is that since I was 11 I’ve known I was different. A shy timid eager to please her Dad would never talk about these feelings. Our family just didn’t. I didn’t have the words anyway. I just knew I wanted to be a boy. So 3 disastrous marriages later, 3 gorgeous daughters, 8 months of sobriety, I can finally acknowledge to myself that I’m queer. I’ve told the husband. Si I’m now sleeping/living in my renovated garage. So that’s what I’m writing about. It’s cathartic and I’m not expecting it to be a best seller. But it’s honest and authentic and is therapeutic. Painful medicine. Thank you Paula for reminding me that I don’t have to write to a goal just for myself. And perhaps a legacy for my girls that they understand me a bit better. I’ll look into your course in 2025. 🙏🏻💕
Thanks so much for sharing 🙏🏼 I have not read the artist’s way but think maybe I should!? Creativity is a huge piece of my healing journey and very life giving.
Thank you for sharing your life. I will be nine months sober this Saturday, thanks to my HIgher Power and everyone that keeps showing up. I write and draw every day without fail and sometimes pick up my guitar. God bless you and God bless AA (it works for me).
Love this, Paulina! Julia Cameron is such a gift to the sober community (and beyond). And your essay is such a beautiful example of how getting sober is about way more than quitting something. It’s about remembering and stepping into fuller, more creative expression. Thank you for sharing and inspiring!
Thank you for your kind words!!
I loved your writing. I’ve just read/listened to the artists way and started my morning pages. I’ve been sober since March 24 after a 40 year love/hate battle with Alcohol or Al or Beryl the Peril as I used to call my alter ego drunken self. Beryl led me down some very dark paths. I’ve started writing about it but my head is not clear. I’ve been ill since April when a routine knee replacement ended in me having a pulmonary embolism. Then after 6 weeks in hospital I went to a friends party, alcohol free. Got loads of questions about why I wasn’t drinking now as I used to drink loads at these parties but I just said it’s not doing me much good. Especially as I was on a cocktail of medication anyway. Well I left that party pleased that I’d stuck to my intentions but also two days later a dose of Covid. Which was a mutated version doing the rounds in the French village I live in. I got it bad for a month. Then a kidney infection. I’ve had trouble breathing since then but the doctors say they don’t know what’s wrong. I’m seeing another specialist in February. The point is I’m a writer in my DNA. But this constant physical fatigue and cough has worn me down. I’ve lost the habit of writing and sunk into a depression. I’m now on antidepressants. Don’t want them but Dr insists. I’m disappointed because I thought giving up booze after 40 years of trying to stop (20 years trying to stop) 2 stints in rehab, one for 6 months in my early 30s, I would be in that pink cloud. It seems to me that I’m unraveling. My marriage is in the toilet. He still drinks but expects me to stay sober. That’s not the issue. The main issue is that since I was 11 I’ve known I was different. A shy timid eager to please her Dad would never talk about these feelings. Our family just didn’t. I didn’t have the words anyway. I just knew I wanted to be a boy. So 3 disastrous marriages later, 3 gorgeous daughters, 8 months of sobriety, I can finally acknowledge to myself that I’m queer. I’ve told the husband. Si I’m now sleeping/living in my renovated garage. So that’s what I’m writing about. It’s cathartic and I’m not expecting it to be a best seller. But it’s honest and authentic and is therapeutic. Painful medicine. Thank you Paula for reminding me that I don’t have to write to a goal just for myself. And perhaps a legacy for my girls that they understand me a bit better. I’ll look into your course in 2025. 🙏🏻💕
Thanks so much for sharing 🙏🏼 I have not read the artist’s way but think maybe I should!? Creativity is a huge piece of my healing journey and very life giving.
JOIN US THIS JANUARY!! I WOULD BE SO SO HONORED TO HAVE YOU WITH US!!! It’s transformational, big time!!!
Redemption at an early age is such a blessing. You have much to offer.
🙏🥹 thank you, Kate. Means a lot coming from you!!
Thank you for sharing your life. I will be nine months sober this Saturday, thanks to my HIgher Power and everyone that keeps showing up. I write and draw every day without fail and sometimes pick up my guitar. God bless you and God bless AA (it works for me).
HUGE!!!! One day at a time, CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is the good stuff, so happy to hear it. Thank you for sharing your life with me!!
Yes! This book played a huge role in my sobriety journey❤️. I'm happy for you.