Thank you for sharing your story, Clare, and confirming a hunch I’ve had all along in sobriety: so many of us turn to substances to soothe the ache that sexual abuse leaves in the long corridors of it’s aftermath.
And I wasn’t shocked at how high the percentage is. The more of us who dare to speak our truth, the sooner others can find safety and a space to tell theirs too, until those stories no longer will be about abuse but about how it is to live as we would have done without it.
Thank you Nancy. It makes a lot of sense that people who've experienced one of the most horrific aspects of human experience would seek to numb that pain. For me, quitting alcohol made space for recovery to take root. I wanted to share my experience in the hope that it might open some space for other survivors to reconsider their relationship with alcohol. Thanks again for your kind words 💕
Yes 🙌 our recovery stories help others understand that there’s hope. Before we start to heal it can be so dark we almost don’t recognize what light is. Been there. Grateful to be on the healed side now, where living is good and I know my way.
Thank you Caroline 🙏 The more I write about these topics, the more I see that we are never, ever alone. I'm happy to have found your work and am looking forward to reading more from you.
I’m in total respect for your decision to become sober, Clare. You became aware of an insidious alcohol issue and chose to act. Thanks for sharing. Shine on.
Thank you Clare for sharing🩷 I love that you quit alcohol and I am so happy how much (amazing) change it made space for in your life.
I have also quit drinking. I have relational trauma, I still have issues with how to connect to other people because I have deeply rooted (and well-founded) issues with people I had to trust as a child and I numbed my anxities in social situations with alcohol because of it. I weirdly loved being hangover too because those nervous energies got sapped away somehow after a drunken night out because I survived doing something stupid as I was prone to doing out of line things when I was drunk. And my hangover energy levels actually matched my real energy levels and I had an excuse for not doing anything. But once I started to slowly build my life up, like having a responsible job as a software engineer, I could not continue with those hangovers and that was a natural stop to my weekday drinking. Then I noticed that I had less anxiety in social situation when I could do them while I was sober and it gave me confidence to skip more drinking opportunities. It naturally ended a few friendships, too. I finally stopped drinking completely after I had kids because I just couldn’t do the 100 things you have to do as a parent on any given day when you’re hangover. And as you said Clare, it’s easy to stay clear of drinking because alcohol is just poison.
Thanks for this, Mazsi. I'm always struck by how quitting drinking alcohol often unlocks lots of other necessary changes in peoples lives. That was certainly true for me. Once I stopped dealing with the impact booze had on my body, I had so much more capacity for other things in life. I'm so glad that sobriety has been a life-giving choice for you and I really appreciate you sharing your story 💕
Thankyou for sharing this story Clare. It’s a powerful testament to the role that alcohol plays in regulating the minds response to trauma. And the importance of removing alcohol to allow the mind and body to heal.
Hi Clare, I relate so much to your story. It took me years to realise that alcohol was taking away more than it was giving. I'm sober 8 years this October (Halloween night 2016 was spooktacular lol) and still feeling my way around myself to a degree. My sensitive so-called life is much improved though, no doubt about that.
As a sober person always, I really appreciated the entire piece, it these sentences in particular, really struck me: “Drinking alcohol is normalized, but it is a potent psychoactive and one of the oldest recreational drugs. It’s the only drug which, when you stop taking it, you are seen as having a disease.”
Thank you Robin. I'm always struck by how normalized alcohol is when you consider just how thoroughly it disrupts our body's basic systems. Thank you for reading 🙏
Such a powerful, empowering share, Clare. Thank you. I have no doubt that your journey and choices will be a light to others. ❤️
Thank you Dana 🙏 I'm grateful to have been able to share my experience with this community.
Thank you for sharing your story, Clare, and confirming a hunch I’ve had all along in sobriety: so many of us turn to substances to soothe the ache that sexual abuse leaves in the long corridors of it’s aftermath.
And I wasn’t shocked at how high the percentage is. The more of us who dare to speak our truth, the sooner others can find safety and a space to tell theirs too, until those stories no longer will be about abuse but about how it is to live as we would have done without it.
Thank you Nancy. It makes a lot of sense that people who've experienced one of the most horrific aspects of human experience would seek to numb that pain. For me, quitting alcohol made space for recovery to take root. I wanted to share my experience in the hope that it might open some space for other survivors to reconsider their relationship with alcohol. Thanks again for your kind words 💕
Yes 🙌 our recovery stories help others understand that there’s hope. Before we start to heal it can be so dark we almost don’t recognize what light is. Been there. Grateful to be on the healed side now, where living is good and I know my way.
Beautifullly put, Nancy. Thank you for sharing 💕
Such an important piece. Clare, so many of us can relate to your story. Thank you for reminding us that we are not alone 🙏🏼
Thank you Caroline 🙏 The more I write about these topics, the more I see that we are never, ever alone. I'm happy to have found your work and am looking forward to reading more from you.
Thank you Clare ❤️💛 knowledge is power xx
Thank you Helen. It certainly is 💕
I’m in total respect for your decision to become sober, Clare. You became aware of an insidious alcohol issue and chose to act. Thanks for sharing. Shine on.
Thank you Adam. I really appreciate that 🙏
Thank you Clare for sharing🩷 I love that you quit alcohol and I am so happy how much (amazing) change it made space for in your life.
I have also quit drinking. I have relational trauma, I still have issues with how to connect to other people because I have deeply rooted (and well-founded) issues with people I had to trust as a child and I numbed my anxities in social situations with alcohol because of it. I weirdly loved being hangover too because those nervous energies got sapped away somehow after a drunken night out because I survived doing something stupid as I was prone to doing out of line things when I was drunk. And my hangover energy levels actually matched my real energy levels and I had an excuse for not doing anything. But once I started to slowly build my life up, like having a responsible job as a software engineer, I could not continue with those hangovers and that was a natural stop to my weekday drinking. Then I noticed that I had less anxiety in social situation when I could do them while I was sober and it gave me confidence to skip more drinking opportunities. It naturally ended a few friendships, too. I finally stopped drinking completely after I had kids because I just couldn’t do the 100 things you have to do as a parent on any given day when you’re hangover. And as you said Clare, it’s easy to stay clear of drinking because alcohol is just poison.
Thanks for this, Mazsi. I'm always struck by how quitting drinking alcohol often unlocks lots of other necessary changes in peoples lives. That was certainly true for me. Once I stopped dealing with the impact booze had on my body, I had so much more capacity for other things in life. I'm so glad that sobriety has been a life-giving choice for you and I really appreciate you sharing your story 💕
Thankyou for sharing this story Clare. It’s a powerful testament to the role that alcohol plays in regulating the minds response to trauma. And the importance of removing alcohol to allow the mind and body to heal.
Thank you Paul. I'm so glad it resonated 🙏
Hi Clare, I relate so much to your story. It took me years to realise that alcohol was taking away more than it was giving. I'm sober 8 years this October (Halloween night 2016 was spooktacular lol) and still feeling my way around myself to a degree. My sensitive so-called life is much improved though, no doubt about that.
Thank you for your honesty ❤️
Thank you Rachel. I'm so glad this piece resonated with you 💕
My sobriety date is Jan 1 also. (1996). Thank you for this generous post!
It's a great date! Thank you for reading Christie, I'm so glad it resonated 💕
Thank you for sharing your story Clare, it's always a pleasure to read about your journey!
Thank you Aisling 💕
As a sober person always, I really appreciated the entire piece, it these sentences in particular, really struck me: “Drinking alcohol is normalized, but it is a potent psychoactive and one of the oldest recreational drugs. It’s the only drug which, when you stop taking it, you are seen as having a disease.”
Thank you Robin. I'm always struck by how normalized alcohol is when you consider just how thoroughly it disrupts our body's basic systems. Thank you for reading 🙏
Such a powerful share, Clare. Thanks for sharing your story. Inspiring so many others to embrace theirs, I’m sure.
And we share the same sober date. 💕 So much has come back to life in me me since removing alcohol.
What a beautiful way to put it Allison, that "so much has come back to life in me". I love that framing and appreciate you sharing it here 💕