Emily. First, great piece. Second, sad to tell you but "the middle" IS life. There is no glow up. There is always something off kilter even during the perfect days, but the perfect days mask it for that moment. This isn't a bad thing. I mean, you have a pretty cool life. Super friends. You date. You haven't settled on a career. And your 28. Girl, (hope you don't mind, and hear it in the proper tone) you got this. You good.
I can relate, Emily! Full transparency, I’m not familiar with the term Glow-up but based off of the context of your post I relate it to all the posts I see of someone talking about since quitting alcohol they have all this energy, sleep better, clarity, purpose, best life ever, etc. but yet I’ve been sober since 2018 and have yet to experience such next level moments. Figured I must be doing something wrong.
A few months ago, I was listening to Jay Shetty’s “Navigating Change” on Masterclass and it hit me when he said grief is not necessarily reserved for the loss of a loved one (paraphrasing.) We can grieve when we change a part of our life, a death of an identity. I realized once sobriety found me, I had been grieving the death of an identity I had embodied for multiple decades.
It’s helped me discover a new path of progress.
Hope you continue to discover new levels of yourself as you continue on your path!
The beginning of my sobriety came with my wife and me holding the neck of the same bottle of freezer vodka and pouring it into the grass. She was surprised because she had no idea it had become a problem…Drinking on the way home FROM the liquor store, yeah, that was a problem.
But I had to find my new, or even an old passion. Returned to music and bought a new set of traps to replace the old ones i had played in every honky-tonk in Austin. Feel like I am 16 again every time I sit down and play (didn’t drink at 16)
Started volunteering and jumped into the deep end, hospice patient volunteer. Bizarrely, some of the funnest experiences of my life. (Spam-O-Rama with your patient on a Saturday) Could write an entire article on just that. 7 years.
DELL’s Children’s Blood and Cancer Center. 6 years. (Nothing like ‘getting served’ by a 5 year old girl)
NICU 5 years. (Nothing like seeing the gratitude on working parents of 3 children as you sing to their premie)
Initially, I reasoned “look at all that I AM DOING, for people in need” when it actually evolved to be “I have no way to express the humility I feel from the gratitude I am receiving from people in need”.
Please keep showing up. Just like this. Unpolished Emily, you are a gem. 💎 I’ve got nearly two decades on you, but girl, right there with you in so many ways—right down to the Tostitos. ;) Thank you for the much-appreciated dose of heart, humor and raw humanity.
First of all, this is beautifully written, and honestly that’s all that matters… on a personal note I quit booze at 41, lost all friends and became a social pariah, the gym saved me but only because I was so alone it was my only chance to say hello to someone, anyone, and hear the sound of my voice. My social life never recovered. I don’t date. You’re brave. So nice to read something on the challenge of sober life instead of all the glow up bs!
Such a hilarious and honest read. And sober at 28! You don’t need to have anything else figured out yet, you are on the right track 🩷 enjoy those Doritos for dinner girl!
This is a GREAT piece of writing. Thank you Emily! There’s not many of us who are vulnerable enough to share the middle. You’ve nailed what’s wrong with sober Instagram: we only show the before and glowy after (which is fake) and not the real struggle every day to find ourselves once alcohol is gone. ❤️ Sounds like you’re on the right path - and sounds exactly like life. Real and messy! 🙌🏻
I love this to bits, Emily. Thank you for sharing with us!
Thank you <3
Emily. First, great piece. Second, sad to tell you but "the middle" IS life. There is no glow up. There is always something off kilter even during the perfect days, but the perfect days mask it for that moment. This isn't a bad thing. I mean, you have a pretty cool life. Super friends. You date. You haven't settled on a career. And your 28. Girl, (hope you don't mind, and hear it in the proper tone) you got this. You good.
I can relate, Emily! Full transparency, I’m not familiar with the term Glow-up but based off of the context of your post I relate it to all the posts I see of someone talking about since quitting alcohol they have all this energy, sleep better, clarity, purpose, best life ever, etc. but yet I’ve been sober since 2018 and have yet to experience such next level moments. Figured I must be doing something wrong.
A few months ago, I was listening to Jay Shetty’s “Navigating Change” on Masterclass and it hit me when he said grief is not necessarily reserved for the loss of a loved one (paraphrasing.) We can grieve when we change a part of our life, a death of an identity. I realized once sobriety found me, I had been grieving the death of an identity I had embodied for multiple decades.
It’s helped me discover a new path of progress.
Hope you continue to discover new levels of yourself as you continue on your path!
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The beginning of my sobriety came with my wife and me holding the neck of the same bottle of freezer vodka and pouring it into the grass. She was surprised because she had no idea it had become a problem…Drinking on the way home FROM the liquor store, yeah, that was a problem.
But I had to find my new, or even an old passion. Returned to music and bought a new set of traps to replace the old ones i had played in every honky-tonk in Austin. Feel like I am 16 again every time I sit down and play (didn’t drink at 16)
Started volunteering and jumped into the deep end, hospice patient volunteer. Bizarrely, some of the funnest experiences of my life. (Spam-O-Rama with your patient on a Saturday) Could write an entire article on just that. 7 years.
DELL’s Children’s Blood and Cancer Center. 6 years. (Nothing like ‘getting served’ by a 5 year old girl)
NICU 5 years. (Nothing like seeing the gratitude on working parents of 3 children as you sing to their premie)
Initially, I reasoned “look at all that I AM DOING, for people in need” when it actually evolved to be “I have no way to express the humility I feel from the gratitude I am receiving from people in need”.
Emily, you are doing all the right things. Thanks for telling us all about it. Keep coming back.
You are an incredible writer. I think you have a great future where you include this talent. 🥰 thanks for the great read!
Thank you!! :)
Please keep showing up. Just like this. Unpolished Emily, you are a gem. 💎 I’ve got nearly two decades on you, but girl, right there with you in so many ways—right down to the Tostitos. ;) Thank you for the much-appreciated dose of heart, humor and raw humanity.
First of all, this is beautifully written, and honestly that’s all that matters… on a personal note I quit booze at 41, lost all friends and became a social pariah, the gym saved me but only because I was so alone it was my only chance to say hello to someone, anyone, and hear the sound of my voice. My social life never recovered. I don’t date. You’re brave. So nice to read something on the challenge of sober life instead of all the glow up bs!
Such a hilarious and honest read. And sober at 28! You don’t need to have anything else figured out yet, you are on the right track 🩷 enjoy those Doritos for dinner girl!
‘My life isn’t polished, but it’s mine. I’m not numb anymore. I’m not trying to escape it. I’m actually in it.’ 🤌🏻
This is one of the most accurate depictions of early sobriety I’ve read. Thank you for not sugar-coating.
And “tanning” as a hobby? WTAF? This actually makes me want to fire up my HInge profile—just for the sheer amusement of meeting weirdos.
Motherhood FORCES me to accept the messiness! Thank you for sharing your reflections….and hey. A bag of lime Tostitos is for sure dinner.
(Also check out my post if you care to hone a dating app profile that rocked my sober life and knocked the losers out quickly — dating sober was ROUGH : https://recoverettes.substack.com/p/the-bumble-profile-that-scored-me )
Love your strength and success!
I love this!! The messy middle is where the magic happens 💖💖🙏🙏
This is a GREAT piece of writing. Thank you Emily! There’s not many of us who are vulnerable enough to share the middle. You’ve nailed what’s wrong with sober Instagram: we only show the before and glowy after (which is fake) and not the real struggle every day to find ourselves once alcohol is gone. ❤️ Sounds like you’re on the right path - and sounds exactly like life. Real and messy! 🙌🏻
Emily, this is wonderful as are you! Reading this was the highlight of my day- so authentic and relatable. I’m lucky to have you as a friend