9 Comments

Such a tender, important share, Ellie. I have so much gratitude in my heart for all the sober parents out there.

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Thank you Dana

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This whole article is pure gold.

It's such an important contribution to the world of parenting, especially for those who've become sober.

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Thank you Adam

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Ellie, this is so good. The patriarchy and capitalism has done such a number on mothers, it’s no wonder there is a mommy drinking culture that has been wholly embraced. I’m so glad we found our way out of that trap. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️

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Same!

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Cheers for the share, Ellie.

Don’t have kids. My wife and I tried a little too late in life, but decided that was for the best in the final analysis.

We do try to house as many dogs as we can, which is currently three. We also recognize that caring for dogs is not the same as children. That said, our girls receive much better treatment than our first dog did. I was at peak alcoholic with him, but he also knew the sober me before he passed.

Profound that you named your son River, considering that inciting incident to your sobriety story. Was that a direct correlation or coincidence?

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Thank you for sharing this Damon - when we’re sober we can care for all beings so much better and all our relationships improve. I’m so glad your dogs have a sober ‘dad’ to take care of them!

That’s so funny you noticed that river connection - I didn’t make that connection myself! Maybe it was unconscious though… I had loved the name for years and me and my husband wanted to call our child after something in nature. I was also struck by these words in Glennon Doyle’s Untamed that I read when I was pregnant - and they very much related to my own story of healing from my past:

‘When a parent becomes healthy again, her child begins to feel her love. When the boulder is removed, the water flows again. It’s the way of the river, the way of a parent’s love'…. That love exists. It just couldn’t get past the boulder.’

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Seems an apt name regardless. Cheers for the added texture. Beautiful.

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