Dry January Inspiration: Real Advice from Sober Folks
Wishing you a beautiful New Year and all the best mocktails at happy hour
“If you’re sober, what advice would you give someone new to sobriety and trying it out?”
I recently posed this question on Substack Notes in the lead-up to January—a month when many people try out sobriety.
If you’re starting the New Year alcohol-free—whether it’s to feel healthier and more energized, reevaluate your relationship with alcohol, or kick off a new sober lifestyle—you’ll find practical tips, encouragement, resources, and inspiration below.
Thank you to everyone who shared! Scroll down to read their responses and add your own in the comments.
“Being sober is a gift to your body, mind, and spirit. You may not experience being present as a present (gift) initially—my experience is that being sober is a miracle and I am grateful that I stayed sober to see miracles in others and in myself. I did not ask for community when I got sober but I got one anyway! I did not ask for less anxiety but I got calmer anyway! Living sober? I am cheering you on!”
—Shana Hormann, Healing Circles
“Hi brave friend, I see you listening to an inner wisdom wanting to experiment with a different way of being. A different way of experiencing life. No matter your reasons why you want to participate in this experiment and no matter what people think or say, celebrate your courage where and when you can. You may notice feelings arise. You may notice clarity you haven’t had in a while. Can you center compassionate curiosity with yourself as you move through it all? You are loved. You are bold. Trust yourself and if that’s challenging for you and where you’re at, can you be willing to learn how to trust yourself? All the applause for you my friend.”
—Jamie Magnant, Painting Nature's Poetry
“Focus on TODAY. Stay busy. Revisit activities that once brought you joy and fulfillment. Develop a ritual to begin the day, such as making your bed, a 5-minute meditation, a shower, a healthy breakfast.
TODAY will lead to a WEEK. The WEEK will lead to a MONTH.
After a month your body and mind will feel so rejuvenated that your experiment will lead to practice. There will be no looking back.”
—Mark Lefebvre, Words Escape Me
“Plan for the void! Don’t expect life to magically get better because you quit. There will be a lack where drinking used to be. Find something joyous to put in that hole. Something that brings connection like a dance class, art, volunteering. You will miss your old toxic friend, but don’t beat yourself up. Build yourself up!”
—Julie Fontes, Like a Normal Person
“Don’t go it alone! Find a buddy for Dry January and/or attend peer support groups. Taking a month off booze is a big deal. Let yourself process the emotions that come up in the absence of alcohol.”
—Tawny Lara, Beyond Liquid Courage
“Depending on how much your body misses alcohol, you may feel physically (and emotionally) crummy for the 1st week of sobriety. It will pass! Hydrate, take a nap, try to eat well, but if your body is craving sugar to replace the booze, it’s OK to have that cookie or donut instead of reaching for the bottle!”
“Focus on the health benefits rather than lack of or missing out on something.”
—Dee Brits, Soulful Wellness Chronicles
“Make a list of simple activities you used to enjoy before drinking disrupted them OR things you think you might enjoy but have never gotten around to trying. They can be things like going for walks, trying a new recipe, meditating, drawing, craft coffee, watching a sport, puzzles, photography, or anything you can do with little preparation. Write them on slips of paper and put them in a jar.
When you don’t know what to do with unstructured time that you would have been drinking, pull a slip and try it. If you enjoyed it and want to try it again, put it back in the jar. If not, throw it out.
Make a separate list/jar of activities that require more planning. Things like skydiving, painting, backpacking, candle making, roasting your own coffee, playing a sport, etc. At some regular interval—i.e., the morning of every first Sunday of the month or every solstice or equinox, pick one and start taking action steps to do it. Figure out what supplies, equipment, or training you need and take a positive action step toward it each week.
Meetup groups are great for meeting others that want to learn or do the same activity you’re interested in.
—Odd Grace Community, Odd Grace Community Updates
“Find a community that works for you and get your ass into action within that community. You cannot maintain consistent sobriety in isolation!”
“Don’t just count down the days until February—get curious about the entire experience. Pay attention to how you feel and ask yourself why those feelings are coming up. Journal and write down your thoughts so you can reflect back on it later. Explore and read books on the topic. Listen to podcasts. Talk to other sober people. Try to learn about what is happening in your body and the benefits of sobriety. Sit with the feelings of discomfort that will likely arise and find activities to distract yourself in the evenings when the wine witch comes calling. By the end of the 30 days you may decide you feel so good you want to keep going.”
—Kimberly Kearns, Unshattered Sobriety
“Try not to keep your mind hooked on what you aren’t doing; otherwise you will still lose your precious time to alcohol. Focus on what you’re experiencing in the moment and be a full participant. And if you find your mind getting hooked on alcohol again, don’t get hung up on that. That’s just a happening of the moment. Acknowledge it and return to your day.”
—Gabriel Solomon, Soul Seekers' Station
“The stigma is real. Fuck it. Get sober anyway. You’ll be crucified by certain people for openly admitting you have a problem ingesting substances that are basically toxic to everyone to a degree. They’ll go on stigmatizing anyone who can’t fit into a toxic system designed to destroy and oppress us all. Get sober anyway. Even if only for January.”
—Kelly Thompson, There’s Nothing Wrong With You (And There Never Was)
“In getting sober, we not only leave alcohol and other drugs behind. We leave parts of ourselves behind, too. Parts like habits and routines that are familiar, if miserable. Like personalities that turn on with alcohol and fall silent when sober. Like relationships and ways of being in relationship.
There’s much to celebrate in this—sobriety holds tremendous gifts, and often these shifts are welcome. And yet, the early days, months, and even years of sobriety can bring profound disorientation, discomfort, and grief. Also anger. And fear.
Feeling those things is normal. Feeling those things is an essential part of leaving what’s harmful behind and stepping into our more honest, more complete version. But that’s not the whole of it. Because no matter how hard it might feel in the beginning or even further along, sobriety doesn’t have to be miserable.”
— Dana Leigh Lyons, Sober Soulful
“1) Read some sobriety memoirs: Laura McKowen’s We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life, Julie Fontes’ Like a Normal Person, or—for more on the science and health aspects of giving up alcohol—Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind or The Alcohol Experiment. Lots of sober-focused podcasts are out there, too.
2) Download a sober app tracker to count days, see how much money you are saving, etc. There are so many, but I like Sober App and I Am Sober.
3) Know yourself: when do you usually drink? Right after work? After dinner? On Saturday nights? Make a plan to replace the drinking habit. Maybe plan to go to the gym—even better with a buddy who is also doing Dry January. Take a walk, try a yoga video on YouTube, call your bestie.
4) Don’t go it alone, find a Dry January buddy through your own circles or through sobriety support groups. Create a sober text squad. Text your buddy or squad when you are feeling tempted. Send each other funny memes and motivational support.
5) Celebrate your wins. One weekend with no alcohol? Tell your friends, buy yourself some flowers, or get that latte you crave. A whole week with no drinking? Tell your family. Get a manicure. Make an ice cream sundae for dinner. Two weeks? Post it on your socials. One month? AMAZING. Get connected. Stay connected. Keep going.
6) Try out an online sober support community such as Laura McKowen’s The Luckiest Club.
—Rosemary Writes & Recovers, Rosemary Writes and Recovers
“All I can say to those considering sobriety… GIVE IT A SHOT!!! If you work hard enough at it, you’ll realise just how quickly your life can change… Especially in the hip pocket (wallet). The money you’ll save & the health benefits will be massive & in that short amount of time, you could very well get your life back ✊😌. It won’t happen overnight… But it can & will happen if you are determined enough. No more pounding headaches the next day, no more ‘chats to Jesus’ through your toilet bowl & no more frightening ‘guess what YOU did last night?’ phone calls the next day 😱😱😱😱. They’re usually made worse with the inclusion of incriminating video evidence of your ‘drunken deeds.’ 😳😳😳
We’d love for you to share in the comments!
What’s your biggest motivator for trying out (or maintaining!) sobriety this January?
Do you have a favorite tip or strategy for staying alcohol-free? Share it!
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Wishing you a beautiful New Year and all the best mocktails.
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Thanks so much for sharing, everyone. Wishing you a beautiful, sober New Year!
Thank you for sharing these thoughts and advice, I'm feeling very inspired to start my month of no alcohol. I'm feeling quite uplifted right now, a good start to the month and year!