Ohhhh that question of "Is it connecting or disconnecting?" is HUGE! I never actually thought of it that way. I remember when I was newly sober, my addiction transferred to yoga. I was doing yoga everyday, multiple times a day some days, and it was definitely connecting. I needed it in those moments to keep myself busy. I could also feel myself getting physically stronger and it was connecting me back to the sensations in my body, allowing me to feel myself grow stronger and to watch my body change—which I know isn't healthy for everyone, but it was that way into my body for me. There was also a part of me that enjoyed the pain, which is probably a whole other topic, but it feels important to note. I also notice now that I'm 4 years in, I notice myself slipping back into the more "disconnecting" habits like scrolling, overworking, and binge eating at times and it's hard to come back from it, but at least the awareness is more easily accessible and I can catch myself and ultimately choose my next steps. Thank you for this, Dana.
I started practicing yoga before getting sober, but it’s been a pivotal part of my sobriety journey as well - in large part because, like you, I experience it as deeply, profoundly connecting. To body, mind, breath, spirit, Universe, everything. Also for this reason, it’s probably the number 1 thing that helped me recover from disordered eating patterns.
Again, I'm seeing that a truly healing journey out of a cult has a lot of similarities with the quest to be sober...
When I first exited the cult, I spent A LOT OF TIME online reading about its actual history. I read ex-members' stories that were eerily similar to my experiences. A Cliff Notes version of what constitutes the mind-fuck I was freeing myself from can be found in Robert Jay Lifton's 8 CRITERIA FOR THOUGHT REFORM. Standard high-control-group shenanigans.
Anyway, as time passed and I became more aware of the emotional and cognitive damage of cult participation, I realized that spending that much time online was definitely no longer good for me. I was at a different place in my recovery journey and needed to connect with my friends, myself, my partner, our dogs, and the landscape of our neighborhood(walks. more walks. walks with dogs.). In the process of seeking balance, priorities and solutions changed...and that process continues...
I am still working on expanding my viewpoint beyond " I wasted 15 years of my life on that shit! " There were tons of interesting lessons in that period and, as I've reviewed that time, I realized that there were MANY moments when my essential empathy was expressed in direct opposition to the group's rules, mores, and "revealed truths", which made me a "failure" as a "true member" of the group...
I love that being a "failure" in that group left the door to my humanity cracked open just enough for me to...LEAVE...and return to the journey of discovering who I really am.
I love this! For me, it's somewhat both. I'm extremely impulsive which is what led to my issues with alcohol. Why not have another and another!!! It's also though what led to my not drinking. Oh my God, I have to stop right now! But, because I'm now sober and healing I find that with my deep work I can slow down those impulses and breathe. Something I couldn't do while drinking. I also, love that you call those substitute behaviors harm reduction. I never thought of it that way before. I replaced alcohol with sugar and didn't address the sugar for almost 3 years!
Thanks so much for sharing, Samantha. I love how you highlight the power and agency that come from slowing things down - offering us time to actually choose rather than reacting from impulse. And yeah - it can sometimes be too much to address everything at once! Best wishes on your ongoing journey!
Love this! And yes, even after all these years in recovery from drugs & alcohol, I'm still bringing the practice to how and what I eat. Fits perfectly ; ) and the good news about this bringing this idea to sobriety is...I find that when a person who's struggling in recovery is able to get a win in another seemingly unrelated area, it still applies to the whole. Keep piling up those wins...it will most definitely influence everything.
Gosh Chinese medicine sounds like a much better way to look at health than the Western model which seems to be all about treating one symptom at a time...
Re: your questions - I think I lean towards restriction/constriction and what alcohol seemed to do for me was to give me a break from my self-imposed restrictions and constant doing, being productive, being perfect. When I drank, for those few hours, I didn't care, my brain slowed down, I literally couldn't be productive. So now I'm sober, I've been struggling once again with being busy and productive all the time and this is a continuing journey for me to prioritise rest, things I enjoy, to do less, not more. And when it feels uncomfortable to notice that, and know it's OK.
Oh my gosh, Ellie - thank you for articulating that. Same. Before getting sober, alcohol was the one thing that gave me "permission" to finally stop working, stop restricting, and relax. I’m still re-patterning this and have a ways to go, but it’s far better each year sober. Thank you for sharing!
How I do anything is how I do everything- rings true for me.
What I’m learning (and unlearning) over and over in my recovery process is that my brain craves excess. I’m consciously aware that I can’t drink alcohol anymore because I don’t have a proper on/off switch but that urge to go all in transfers to almost everything else. Even the “healthy” stuff. Especially the healthy stuff. Lately I see it in how I try to stack too much in my day/my hours. My routines keep me connected and grounded but there is a fine line between showing up for myself and overextending myself. I’m trying to allow white space in my day to just sit. Breathe. Do nothing.
Thanks for nudging me to look at all of this. That’s how we grow!
Thank you for being here and sharing, Allison. Huge recognition for the choices you’ve made and for your honesty, clarity, and self-awareness. And I so get what you’re saying about filling hours and days to the brim - me too. Here’s to allowing white space, sitting, and breathing. ❤️
Substituting one addiction for another means one has not done anything more than Steps 1&2 of the 12 steps. While there may be a place for harm reduction, it has to give over quickly to full surrender or all is lost. But, the 12 step recovery program doesn’t claim to be the only road to recovery - but it does claim that it works if worked honestly.
Ohhhh that question of "Is it connecting or disconnecting?" is HUGE! I never actually thought of it that way. I remember when I was newly sober, my addiction transferred to yoga. I was doing yoga everyday, multiple times a day some days, and it was definitely connecting. I needed it in those moments to keep myself busy. I could also feel myself getting physically stronger and it was connecting me back to the sensations in my body, allowing me to feel myself grow stronger and to watch my body change—which I know isn't healthy for everyone, but it was that way into my body for me. There was also a part of me that enjoyed the pain, which is probably a whole other topic, but it feels important to note. I also notice now that I'm 4 years in, I notice myself slipping back into the more "disconnecting" habits like scrolling, overworking, and binge eating at times and it's hard to come back from it, but at least the awareness is more easily accessible and I can catch myself and ultimately choose my next steps. Thank you for this, Dana.
Love that, Kaitlyn! Thank you for sharing!
I started practicing yoga before getting sober, but it’s been a pivotal part of my sobriety journey as well - in large part because, like you, I experience it as deeply, profoundly connecting. To body, mind, breath, spirit, Universe, everything. Also for this reason, it’s probably the number 1 thing that helped me recover from disordered eating patterns.
Oh I love this! It really is a special practice.
Examining our Relationships with things. 🙏👍
An ongoing process and practice, that’s for sure. Thanks for being here, Dee! 😊
Again, I'm seeing that a truly healing journey out of a cult has a lot of similarities with the quest to be sober...
When I first exited the cult, I spent A LOT OF TIME online reading about its actual history. I read ex-members' stories that were eerily similar to my experiences. A Cliff Notes version of what constitutes the mind-fuck I was freeing myself from can be found in Robert Jay Lifton's 8 CRITERIA FOR THOUGHT REFORM. Standard high-control-group shenanigans.
Anyway, as time passed and I became more aware of the emotional and cognitive damage of cult participation, I realized that spending that much time online was definitely no longer good for me. I was at a different place in my recovery journey and needed to connect with my friends, myself, my partner, our dogs, and the landscape of our neighborhood(walks. more walks. walks with dogs.). In the process of seeking balance, priorities and solutions changed...and that process continues...
I am still working on expanding my viewpoint beyond " I wasted 15 years of my life on that shit! " There were tons of interesting lessons in that period and, as I've reviewed that time, I realized that there were MANY moments when my essential empathy was expressed in direct opposition to the group's rules, mores, and "revealed truths", which made me a "failure" as a "true member" of the group...
I love that being a "failure" in that group left the door to my humanity cracked open just enough for me to...LEAVE...and return to the journey of discovering who I really am.
Onward😁
Beautiful, powerful, empowering insights, Mark. Thank you for sharing, and huge recognition and celebration of your journey home. ❤️
I love this! For me, it's somewhat both. I'm extremely impulsive which is what led to my issues with alcohol. Why not have another and another!!! It's also though what led to my not drinking. Oh my God, I have to stop right now! But, because I'm now sober and healing I find that with my deep work I can slow down those impulses and breathe. Something I couldn't do while drinking. I also, love that you call those substitute behaviors harm reduction. I never thought of it that way before. I replaced alcohol with sugar and didn't address the sugar for almost 3 years!
Thanks so much for sharing, Samantha. I love how you highlight the power and agency that come from slowing things down - offering us time to actually choose rather than reacting from impulse. And yeah - it can sometimes be too much to address everything at once! Best wishes on your ongoing journey!
Same to you!! ❤️
Love this! And yes, even after all these years in recovery from drugs & alcohol, I'm still bringing the practice to how and what I eat. Fits perfectly ; ) and the good news about this bringing this idea to sobriety is...I find that when a person who's struggling in recovery is able to get a win in another seemingly unrelated area, it still applies to the whole. Keep piling up those wins...it will most definitely influence everything.
Thank you, and yes! It really does create momentum and make big change more accessible. Changing one small thing changes the entire trajectory.
Gosh Chinese medicine sounds like a much better way to look at health than the Western model which seems to be all about treating one symptom at a time...
Re: your questions - I think I lean towards restriction/constriction and what alcohol seemed to do for me was to give me a break from my self-imposed restrictions and constant doing, being productive, being perfect. When I drank, for those few hours, I didn't care, my brain slowed down, I literally couldn't be productive. So now I'm sober, I've been struggling once again with being busy and productive all the time and this is a continuing journey for me to prioritise rest, things I enjoy, to do less, not more. And when it feels uncomfortable to notice that, and know it's OK.
Oh my gosh, Ellie - thank you for articulating that. Same. Before getting sober, alcohol was the one thing that gave me "permission" to finally stop working, stop restricting, and relax. I’m still re-patterning this and have a ways to go, but it’s far better each year sober. Thank you for sharing!
How I do anything is how I do everything- rings true for me.
What I’m learning (and unlearning) over and over in my recovery process is that my brain craves excess. I’m consciously aware that I can’t drink alcohol anymore because I don’t have a proper on/off switch but that urge to go all in transfers to almost everything else. Even the “healthy” stuff. Especially the healthy stuff. Lately I see it in how I try to stack too much in my day/my hours. My routines keep me connected and grounded but there is a fine line between showing up for myself and overextending myself. I’m trying to allow white space in my day to just sit. Breathe. Do nothing.
Thanks for nudging me to look at all of this. That’s how we grow!
Thanks for
Thank you for being here and sharing, Allison. Huge recognition for the choices you’ve made and for your honesty, clarity, and self-awareness. And I so get what you’re saying about filling hours and days to the brim - me too. Here’s to allowing white space, sitting, and breathing. ❤️
Substituting one addiction for another means one has not done anything more than Steps 1&2 of the 12 steps. While there may be a place for harm reduction, it has to give over quickly to full surrender or all is lost. But, the 12 step recovery program doesn’t claim to be the only road to recovery - but it does claim that it works if worked honestly.
Thanks for sharing, D. Bruce. I’d love to hear how this relates to your personal journey.