The movement and mindfulness pieces are so important! I talk to people a lot about "non-negotiables". Those things we have to do on a daily or weekly basis to stay the course. I find that most people need things in each of a few categories - movement, mindfulness and creative or cognitive endeavors. I feel like Yoga hits all three in a lot of ways. Wishing you a very happy holiday season Dana!
Thanks for this timely piece. Coming up on 6 years sober and an Xmas party that always triggers the "I'm not odd man out" feelings. Knowing that these are normal thoughts and just thoughts helps me realize I don't need to listen. I can let them go now better than I used to. And then I play the tape forward. This helps too. Readings from sober people like yourself is also at the top of my list. And who knows, maybe this year I find something else to do and simply decline going to the party.
HUGE congrats on 6 years!! I love your strategies of reminding yourself that thoughts are just thoughts and not directives and playing the tape forward. Great ideas! I like to play the tape forward in a positive way. Rather than thinking, "If I drink at this party I'm gonna end up dancing barefoot on the table", I think "If I DON'T drink at this party, I'm going to wake up clearheaded tomorrow with all my memories intact." Fear is a fickle motivator for me but if I can focus on the good things about not drinking, my motivation stays intact. If you need permission to skip the party, I'm happy to give you a permission slip ; ) Have happy holidays Trace!
Thank you. By the time I decided to quit drinking I was consuming around 8 oz a day - every day. I justified it because I never missed work, still ran every day - was "functioning" l drank to stay where I didn't belong- in an unhealthy relationship... I was trying to drown out what every fiber of my being was telling me "GO"...
One thing that really helps me stay grounded is checking my energy level. Healing takes energy...
A very short mantra " strength and grace" helps me stay present
What a fabulous mantra! I could not agree more about checking your energy. I like to rate myself on a scale of 1-10 a few times a day to see how wound up I am. 1 is "I'm good to go" and 10 is "hitting the wall/meltdown time". If I'm over a 5, I know it's time to engage my tools (tea, breath work, calming music, etc.) to help me unwind a little. If I can play this wind/unwind game all day, I don't end the day at a 10 when nothing could bring me down but a chardonnay sledgehammer. Happy Holidays April!
Excellent tips! I never go to an event empty handed, I don’t expect others to have NA beverages and bring my drink of choice, even water. Journaling, meetings, meditation, and any moment outdoors helps me stay grounded. I also say no, a lot!
YES!!! I travel with a mocktail cooler almost everywhere I go. I always have my favs at the ready. I find that if I already have something in my hand, people are much less likely to ask me if I want a drink. Hope your new year is merry and bright Amanda!
I remember the first time I drank in the morning in secret - and it was also to drown out the noise in my head. I remember those Christmas mornings, feeling so far away from myself. Happy never to be there again. Thank you for sharing!
Gah! Yes, so happy to never be there again. It's always a balancing act for me with the shame laced memories. I want to hold them close enough that I remember I never want to go back there again but not so tightly that I drown in a river of shame over them. Hope you have happy holidays Kimberly!
I'm so glad some of what I shared resonated. Thank you for for your kind words 💙 I struggle to express how glad I am to show up to it all differently now. It's life changing in the best way. Have a very happy new year Allison!
What a great post Whitney! This is my 3rd Christmas in a row sober. These days, I have recovered from compromising myself in order to be accepted and fit in. That was a huge drinking trigger. So, I put my needs first unless there is some emergency with one of my loved ones.
That means meditating every morning and checking in with my higher self if something feels off during the day.
It means honoring my bedtime rituals to set myself up for rest.
It means doing things that truly bring me joy and love during the holiday season. For example, a couple days ago, I made cinnamon rolls for my son's grandpa figure (my dad passed when he was 1) because it filled my heart to do so, and I love creating with my hands. This has become a tradition I look forward to (he does, as well!), as opposed to an obligation.
Thank you. Your excellent article came at a very opportune time because I am about to facilitate a group therapy meeting and the topic is how to survive the holidays. You've given me a lot of good tips. I am a licensed chemical dependency counselor, creator of the free app which has become sober app, and author of the daily meditation book Sober Not Just Dry. It can fit in a purse and has one of my Higher Powers on the cover. https://a.co/d/hH0cvZf Please check it out and share it if you think that's wise.
I'm so glad you got some good tips from the article. I appreciate you sharing your daily meditation book. I'm always looking for good inspirational reading. Starting my day with some grounding and inspiration is vital for me. Happy new year Paul!
I would love to hear more about your self care routine! Thank you for sharing this piece and congratulations on your sobriety! Here’s to another sober Christmas 🫶🏻♥️🎄
40 years sober tomorrow. I don’t see any mention of AA in your piece but this was the thing that saved my life, made me a sober mother, survive numerous setbacks, deaths and huge success. I am a recovering alcoholic who has found serenity and happiness free of addiction. I came in at 27 and at 67 still attend meetings and work the steps. It’s not a cult, I’ve never believed in God but finding a higher power allowed me to get sober.
Eight years is quite an achievement. My coping mechanism is to remind myself that I don't want to be a drunk. Because if I had not stopped, that's what I would be.
These are such grounding, useful practices, Whitney. Thank you for sharing!
For me, daily yoga and meditation are non-negotiable, whether during the holidays or any other time of year.
The movement and mindfulness pieces are so important! I talk to people a lot about "non-negotiables". Those things we have to do on a daily or weekly basis to stay the course. I find that most people need things in each of a few categories - movement, mindfulness and creative or cognitive endeavors. I feel like Yoga hits all three in a lot of ways. Wishing you a very happy holiday season Dana!
Thanks for this timely piece. Coming up on 6 years sober and an Xmas party that always triggers the "I'm not odd man out" feelings. Knowing that these are normal thoughts and just thoughts helps me realize I don't need to listen. I can let them go now better than I used to. And then I play the tape forward. This helps too. Readings from sober people like yourself is also at the top of my list. And who knows, maybe this year I find something else to do and simply decline going to the party.
Congrats on coming up on six years, Trace! I, too, find playing the tape forward so helpful.
HUGE congrats on 6 years!! I love your strategies of reminding yourself that thoughts are just thoughts and not directives and playing the tape forward. Great ideas! I like to play the tape forward in a positive way. Rather than thinking, "If I drink at this party I'm gonna end up dancing barefoot on the table", I think "If I DON'T drink at this party, I'm going to wake up clearheaded tomorrow with all my memories intact." Fear is a fickle motivator for me but if I can focus on the good things about not drinking, my motivation stays intact. If you need permission to skip the party, I'm happy to give you a permission slip ; ) Have happy holidays Trace!
Love this! Yes to positive tape forwarding.
And I accept your skip the party permission slip😊
Thank you. By the time I decided to quit drinking I was consuming around 8 oz a day - every day. I justified it because I never missed work, still ran every day - was "functioning" l drank to stay where I didn't belong- in an unhealthy relationship... I was trying to drown out what every fiber of my being was telling me "GO"...
One thing that really helps me stay grounded is checking my energy level. Healing takes energy...
A very short mantra " strength and grace" helps me stay present
Happy Holidays Whitney!
What a fabulous mantra! I could not agree more about checking your energy. I like to rate myself on a scale of 1-10 a few times a day to see how wound up I am. 1 is "I'm good to go" and 10 is "hitting the wall/meltdown time". If I'm over a 5, I know it's time to engage my tools (tea, breath work, calming music, etc.) to help me unwind a little. If I can play this wind/unwind game all day, I don't end the day at a 10 when nothing could bring me down but a chardonnay sledgehammer. Happy Holidays April!
Excellent tips! I never go to an event empty handed, I don’t expect others to have NA beverages and bring my drink of choice, even water. Journaling, meetings, meditation, and any moment outdoors helps me stay grounded. I also say no, a lot!
YES!!! I travel with a mocktail cooler almost everywhere I go. I always have my favs at the ready. I find that if I already have something in my hand, people are much less likely to ask me if I want a drink. Hope your new year is merry and bright Amanda!
I remember the first time I drank in the morning in secret - and it was also to drown out the noise in my head. I remember those Christmas mornings, feeling so far away from myself. Happy never to be there again. Thank you for sharing!
Gah! Yes, so happy to never be there again. It's always a balancing act for me with the shame laced memories. I want to hold them close enough that I remember I never want to go back there again but not so tightly that I drown in a river of shame over them. Hope you have happy holidays Kimberly!
The drinking to drown out the noise in my head - I lived there for a long time.
So grateful to show up to it all differently now.
So much resonance reading your words, Whitney.
Thank you for sharing them with us and thank you for the work you do. 🙏🏼
I'm so glad some of what I shared resonated. Thank you for for your kind words 💙 I struggle to express how glad I am to show up to it all differently now. It's life changing in the best way. Have a very happy new year Allison!
What a great post Whitney! This is my 3rd Christmas in a row sober. These days, I have recovered from compromising myself in order to be accepted and fit in. That was a huge drinking trigger. So, I put my needs first unless there is some emergency with one of my loved ones.
That means meditating every morning and checking in with my higher self if something feels off during the day.
It means honoring my bedtime rituals to set myself up for rest.
It means doing things that truly bring me joy and love during the holiday season. For example, a couple days ago, I made cinnamon rolls for my son's grandpa figure (my dad passed when he was 1) because it filled my heart to do so, and I love creating with my hands. This has become a tradition I look forward to (he does, as well!), as opposed to an obligation.
Thank you for the post!
Thank you. Your excellent article came at a very opportune time because I am about to facilitate a group therapy meeting and the topic is how to survive the holidays. You've given me a lot of good tips. I am a licensed chemical dependency counselor, creator of the free app which has become sober app, and author of the daily meditation book Sober Not Just Dry. It can fit in a purse and has one of my Higher Powers on the cover. https://a.co/d/hH0cvZf Please check it out and share it if you think that's wise.
I'm so glad you got some good tips from the article. I appreciate you sharing your daily meditation book. I'm always looking for good inspirational reading. Starting my day with some grounding and inspiration is vital for me. Happy new year Paul!
I would love to hear more about your self care routine! Thank you for sharing this piece and congratulations on your sobriety! Here’s to another sober Christmas 🫶🏻♥️🎄
40 years sober tomorrow. I don’t see any mention of AA in your piece but this was the thing that saved my life, made me a sober mother, survive numerous setbacks, deaths and huge success. I am a recovering alcoholic who has found serenity and happiness free of addiction. I came in at 27 and at 67 still attend meetings and work the steps. It’s not a cult, I’ve never believed in God but finding a higher power allowed me to get sober.
Eight years is quite an achievement. My coping mechanism is to remind myself that I don't want to be a drunk. Because if I had not stopped, that's what I would be.